


Clueless

by jamesgatz1925



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: An assault, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Living Together, Sharing a Bed, idk what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25138276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesgatz1925/pseuds/jamesgatz1925
Summary: A continuation of chapter #38 from my one-shot stories. The original chapter is this first chapter, but the rest are new chapters set after the scene.Basically, they fall in love.
Relationships: Dinah Lance/OMC, Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance, for like a second - Relationship
Comments: 31
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

Helena’s had friends for, oh...two weeks.

She still wasn’t really sure what to do with a friend. Feed it? Water it? Talk to it? Helena was not so good with any of it. 

Helena really wanted to be a good friend. She really wanted to be someone Dinah...her friends...wanted to be around. She really wanted to be a good person to hang out with, a generous person and a fun person. 

Helena was not good at any of it. She was not fun. She was not always nice. She was not patient. She was hot headed and didn’t always know what to say, and she definitely didn’t know how to joke. 

Everything was so weird. 

But she was learning about what friends can do, as adults. Friends can go to bars, friends can play pool. Friends can have dinner and hang out and sometimes they even kick ass together. 

Friends also protected each other. Helena was good at that already. Already, in the few weeks she’d had the Birds, she was good at punching a guy if they attacked Dinah or Renee. She was good at chasing guys who shot at them and ran away. She was good at taking an arrow to whoever was trying to hurt one of the other women. 

Helena was getting good at being a friend. 

Being a friend also meant giving your friends space and not following them around because you had no other plans in your life, so when Dinah said she was going to try out a different club to sing at, Helena didn’t follow to go with her. She knew work was something someone usually did alone. 

So, Dinah went to the club and Helena sat in her lonely, empty apartment. 

Helena went to bed around eleven. She tossed and turned under her blanket for almost an hour until there was a sudden buzz to her apartment’s ringer. 

Confused and instantly alert, Helena climbed out of bed and reached underneath for her bow. She loaded a dart and exited the room. 

She slowly went to the buzzing ringer. She clicked the intercom to answer. 

“Hello?” she nervously asked. 

“Helena, it’s me...” It was Dinah. She sounded a little cracked, a little broken. “Can I come up?”

Helena clicked the lock instantly. She quickly put her bow on the island and returned to wait by the door. Dinah didn’t sound right, and that made Helena nervous. Was she okay? Did the club not go well?

Dinah knocked on the door in a minute. Helena quickly answered, and when she did she saw why Dinah sounded so low.

Dinah had a forming black eye on the left side. Her cheek was swollen. 

Helena gasped. “Canary? The hell?” She ushered Dinah in quickly. “What happened?”

Helena didn’t have stools at the island, so she helped Dinah to sit on the countertop. Helena went to the freezer for an ice pack that she always had on hand. 

Ice packs were often more useful than chairs.

Dinah looked sad. Smaller. Not like the boisterous Black Canary that she saw during fights or on stage. She was curled in on herself, arms crossed over her chest, and she was shaking slightly. 

Helena handed her the ice. 

“Thanks,” Dinah said, wincing as she put it to her face. 

“Tell me what happened,” Helena said, almost pleading. 

Someone hurt Dinah. Like a lion, she was ready to pounce. 

Dinah cleared her throat. “I, uh...I sang, and I thought I did pretty well, then...uh, the owner, he...he told me he’d only hire me under one condition.”

Helena’s heart spiked and blood boiled. “He said what?!”

“He uh...” Dinah moved her arms. Her blouse was ripped. “I pushed him after he...touched me...and then he punched me.”

Helena sucked in an angry breath. There was no fucking way she was going to let someone get away with hurting Dinah. Hurting Dinah twice. 

Helena picked up her bow. 

Dinah grabbed her arm. “Hey, no. Nope. You can’t just go kill someone—“

“He hurt you.”

“People get hurt.”

“I don’t want you hurt.”

Dinah stared at her, but Helena held her gaze. 

“I can’t let you do that,” Dinah finally said. 

Helena didn’t really need permission. Chances are he’d done it or, god forbid, worse to other women. He deserved to pay. 

“Can I crash here?” Dinah asked, distracting Helena from the daydream of murdering some dude. “I’ll sleep on the couch, just if you have a shirt or something—“

Helena nodded. “Take my bed.”

“What? No, I can’t. I’ll just go home—“

Helena put a hand on Dinah’s thigh. “You’re staying.” She knew how worked up Dinah was. Canary didn’t scare easily. It was a lot for her to be shaking. 

Dinah nodded. 

Helena took Dinah’s hand and lowered the ice pack. The bruise was forming nicely, and it just made Helena all the more angry. 

Nobody hurt Dinah. 

“Let me get you something to wear,” Helena said before she left Dinah in the kitchen. 

When she returned, Dinah was thankful for the pajamas. Helena led her to the spare bathroom and let her get ready for sleep while she made room for Dinah in her bed. It really was big enough for both of them, and Dinah was her friend so she wanted to take care of her. She thought maybe Dinah would feel better sleeping protected for the night. She thought she could help Dinah feel better. 

Dinah returned to Helena’s bedroom looking awfully cute in Helena’s pajamas. 

Helena didn’t say that. 

“I made room for you, right there, next to me,” Helena said awkwardly. “Unless, uh...unless that makes you uncomfortable, then I can sleep in the living room, or on the floor, or—“

“Or what, sleep upside down like a vampire? No, here’s good. Right next to me.”

Helena nodded in agreement. Her thoughts exactly. 

Dinah climbed into the bed and got under the deep purple sheet. 

“Soft,” she commented. 

“Mmm,” Helena agreed. The sheets were the most expensive thing in the apartment at present. 

“You sure this is okay?” Dinah asked because Helena must’ve looked like a stiff weirdo climbing into bed. 

“Yeah? You said—“

“No, I know I’m okay with sharing a bed with you,” Dinah said. “Are you okay with it? Because I really can just go home. I...I’ll be okay.”

“I want you to stay with me,” Helena said. “That way I know you’re safe.”

Dinah smiled. “Gah, killer.”

Helena gave a small smile back. 

She was fuckin’ nailing this friend shit. 

Helena realized maybe she should further be a good host, so she sat up suddenly. 

“I’m gonna grab some Tylenol,” she announced, “So you can take it and won’t wake up hurting later.”

Dinah was still smiling. “You’re too good.”

Helena hoped she was. She quickly got out of bed and went back to the kitchen, where amongst nothing else she did have a fully stocked medicine and first aid cabinet. She grabbed Dinah two pills, a bottle of water, then returned to the bedroom. 

Dinah was already asleep. And Helena didn’t even get to say goodnight. 

So, Helena set the pills and water on Dinah’s bedside table. The poor girl was so out already that she was already breathing hard. Helena knew Dinah wasn’t going to wake up, and her idea would be quick. 

Helena sat on the floor by her bed, as to not disturb Dinah, and researched the bar where Dinah played. She found the owner and his address in ten quick minutes. The man lived alone, thankfully, because what Helena was planning wasn’t going to be pretty. 

Helena quickly got on her normal Huntress clothes and grabbed extra darts for the bow, then left Dinah asleep in her bed. 

Helena rode to the guy’s house in twenty minutes. She mentally rehearsed what she wanted to say, having a script perfectly memorized when she pulled up and parked her bike behind his shed. 

Getting into his house was too easy. It was dark and quiet, and Helena slipped through effortlessly. The house was a minimalist bachelor pad, so there was a predictable layout of furniture and nothing to trip over in the dark. It was all so easy. 

She got to his bedroom and creeped in. The man was snoring on his bed, and Helena found it all perfect. 

Helena began by throwing the asshole out of his bed to wake him up. He screamed as she did it, as she pounced on him and held his neck. 

“What the fuck?!” he yelled, or tried to, since Helena’s thumb was pushing perfectly on his airway. 

“Listen carefully,” Helena said, her voice purposefully deep and menacing. “You ever lay a hand on any woman ever again, you remember that this moment will never happen again. Tonight, I spare your life. Next time, I’ll fucking kill you. Do you understand?”

“Who the fuck are you?!” he yelled. 

Helena took the knife from her clip and scratched a gash into his chest. Not enough to need stitches. Just enough to bleed a lot. He screamed. 

“That wasn’t an answer,” she said. “I asked if you understand.”

“You fucking—“ 

He tried to push Helena, but she anticipated his arm and grabbed it, then the other, before pushing both into his bleeding chest. 

“Fuck! Fuck!” he yelled. 

“I asked if you understand that if you hurt another woman I will kill you. Do you?” Helena pushed his arms into his chest. 

He screamed. Wimp. 

“Fine, you fucking bitch!”

Helena wanted to stab him, a little harder, maybe a small wound, but she didn’t. She only left one gash, hopefully as a reminder of the fucking bitch who did it to him. 

She climbed off the guy. He didn’t make a move to fight back, which was probably wise because she was so ready to fight him. Instead, he stayed on the ground while she calmly walked out of his bedroom. She exited the house the same was she came, got on her bike, and left. 

The was back at her apartment in less than an hour. She hid her bow under her bed, scrubbed and disinfected her knife, then removed her outfit and replaced it in her closet. She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth before joining Dinah in her bed. 

Helena slid under her blanket comically slowly as to not disturb the other woman. But Dinah must’ve sensed the displaced weight shifting, because she sighed and squirmed. 

Helena held her breath. Dinah swallowed and Helena knew she was at least a little bit awake. 

“Hmm...” Dinah sighed. “You there?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” Helena whispered. “I’m here.”

“Good,” Dinah said, calming again. “Don’t leave me.”

Helena turned onto her side to face Dinah. “I won’t.”

She knew she wouldn’t. Not ever. Now that she had a best friend, she sure as hell wasn’t going to lose her. 


	2. Chapter 2

Helena woke up feeling incredible the next morning. She got to threaten some dude, she slept well, and she woke up next to Dinah.

What a strange feeling. Being happy to wake up next to someone. 

Dinah was her best friend. She was always happy to be near her. Always overjoyed. Always smiled more when Dinah was around. Always laughed more. She always felt more. 

Which was probably why she got so mad last night. When Dinah showed up at her doorstep bruised with a ripped shirt. When Dinah was nearly in tears on her kitchen island. 

Helena felt more angry than she thought she might for another person. She wasn’t going to let what happened to Dinah slide, and that’s why she left in the middle of the night to take care of it. She would have killed the man. She could have. But she didn’t, because she didn’t think she could have kept that from Dinah. And Dinah told her not to kill him. 

Helena turned her head against her pillow and was delighted to have a full view of Dinah’s face. She looked incredible, even asleep, and even though she had a deep purple bruise on the side of her face, her skin was glowing and her lips were full. Helena knew friends were allowed to appreciate each other’s beauty. Dinah was always telling Helena she looked good, even when Helena wasn’t even trying. So, as Helena looked at Dinah in the morning light, she appreciated her friend’s beauty. Dinah was gorgeous. 

Helena knew she couldn’t spend all morning staring at the sleeping Dinah Lance, so she carefully rolled out of bed. Unfortunately, she misjudged the distance she had—because she was trying to keep away from Dinah in the night—and literally rolled out of the bed. She landed with a thud on the ground and quickly bounced back up to make sure Dinah didn’t wake. 

The other woman didn’t, and Helena was glad, because she didn’t want to wake Dinah. She didn’t want to cause Dinah some sort of discomfort by being awakened at—Helena checked her phone—7 in the morning. 

Helena went to her bathroom as quietly as she could. She was quick, then left the bedroom just as quietly. 

Helena didn’t want to leave Dinah in the apartment, so she didn’t decide to go for her usual morning run. Instead, she started her coffee maker and got out various breakfast items. She decided to make herself eggs and bacon, because they were quiet and easy. 

Helena made no noise as she made breakfast. The only sound through the apartment was the drip of the coffee and the sizzle of bacon on the stove. 

Helena didn’t even hear her bedroom door open, footsteps on the hardwood, or Dinah lean against the island. 

But she jumped when she finally heard, “Hey.”

“Jesus fuck!” Helena yelled, turning suddenly. Her hand holding a spatula got too close to the bacon and the grease popped onto her hand. “Oh fuck!”

“Shit!” Dinah cried, going to her. “Damn killer, I thought you were all always aware of your surroundings!”

“Usually I am!” Helena replied. Her guard was always down around Dinah. She said as much. “My guard is down around you.”

Dinah took her hand, leading her to the sink. “Why’s that?” she asked. 

Helena shrugged as Dinah ran her hand under the cold tap. “I don’t know. I’m comfortable when you’re around, I guess.” She also usually said more to Dinah. She didn’t feel like she needed to hide. That’s how comfortable she was. 

Dinah held her hand under the water for a long time. Probably much longer than necessary, but Helena didn’t pull away. It felt nice. Dinah’s hands were soft. Her hands felt good in Dinah’s hands. 

“You okay?” Dinah asked, rubbing Helena’s hands. 

Helena nodded. 

“I’ll try not to scare you anymore.”

Helena smiled. “I’ll be more alert.”

“Don’t be,” Dinah said, reaching for the hand towel next to the sink. “I like that you loosen up when I’m around.”

Helena nodded. “I like it, too.”

Dinah smiled as she dried Helena’s hands. She felt so nice. Dinah was so kind. 

“So, bacon?” Dinah asked, peering over Helena’s shoulder. She put the towel down but held onto Helena’s hands, rubbing the little burn that didn’t even hurt anymore. 

“You want some? There’s enough.”

Dinah smiled widely and nodded. She let go of Helena’s hands. Helena felt...disappointed? 

She went back to the stove to finish their eggs and bacon. “Help yourself to some coffee,” Helena said, nodding to the coffee machine and rack of coffee mugs next to it. “I don’t like creamer but I have milk and sugar. Unless you’d like tea? I have tea—“

Dinah put a hand on her shoulder. “Coffee is good. I’ll grab some milk. Hey, do you have any bread? I can do toast. That’s the extent of what I can make.”

Helena kept smiling. Making breakfast with Dinah. Friendship was fun. 

“Bread is in that cabinet,” Helena said, pointing to it. “Butter and jam are in the fridge.”

Dinah got the bread, butter, and jam. She pulled a drawer in the cabinets and guessed correctly for a butter knife. Helena reached around her for two plates in the cabinet next to her head. 

They flowed wonderfully in the kitchen. They never bumped each other or got in the other’s way. Dinah seemed to know where things were already. 

It was great. Preparing the last of their breakfast in a comfortable silence was as nice as having conversations and hanging out. It was more than Helena ever expected when she returned to Gotham. 

In conclusion, having a good friend was something unexpected and fantastic. 

Helena plated their eggs and bacon as Dinah finished the toast. She handed Dinah a plate, Dinah handed her toast, and they went to the small dining area to eat, since the table actually had chairs. 

“A good breakfast after a peaceful night’s sleep,” Dinah commented as they sat. “Could make a girl stay forever.”

Helena got an amazing idea. She hated Dinah’s apartment because of the location. And she had plenty of space at her apartment. There was an entire spare bedroom. What would she do with it? And she knew Dinah was still looking for work. The apartment was paid for in full already. It was perfect. 

“Stay,” Helena said. 

Dinah chuckled. “No, I was just—“

“I’m serious,” Helena added, then listed the reasons why Dinah should stay. “There’s an extra room. And it’s paid for. And I’ll totally make eggs and bacon every morning—“

Dinah stopped her. “No, no, you don’t have to make eggs and bacon every morning.”

Helena felt a strange excitement. “But you’ll stay?”

Dinah smiled. “You’ve convinced me.”

“Great!” Helena exclaimed louder than she’d wanted to. “I mean...cool. Awesome.”

“Yeah,” Dinah agreed, looking at her kind of funny. She was smiling, but Helena couldn’t put her finger on the exact look on Dinah’s face. 

They continued eating their breakfast in silence, which was nice. Helena was glad Dinah looked better than the evening before, despite the bruise on her face. Dinah looked like the normal Canary, not like the obviously scared and shaken Canary at her doorstep. 

Dinah broke the silence first. “I’ve never lived with someone,” she said, “It’ll be like having a sleepover every night.”

Helena looked up at her. She assumed...that they’d have their own rooms...but...if Dinah wanted to—

“In separate rooms, of course,” Dinah added. 

“Oh,” Helena said, feeling a weird disappointment again. “Yeah. I guess so. I mean, I’ve never had a sleepover either, though, so...what do I know?”

Dinah laughed. Dinah was always laughing at Helena. Well, not at Helena. Towards Helena. Like whatever Helena said was actually funny. Helena had never been funny before. Helena wasn’t sure she was funny now, but Dinah still laughed. 

“These eggs are great,” Dinah said. “You can teach me how to make breakfast so I can return the favor sometimes.”

“You don’t have to,” Helena said. “I’m usually up early.”

“You can still teach me.”

Helena nodded. “Okay.” 

Dinah kept smiling. She looked so happy. 

“Is your face okay?” Helena asked as if to crash that happiness down for some stupid reason. She didn’t know why she asked. 

“Yeah,” Dinah said, “A little sore, but mostly alright. Nothing I’m not used to.”

Helena frowned. “Has...has this happened before?”

Dinah shrugged. “Every woman has a story, right? Nothing terrible. Just...you know, some creeps here and there.”

Helena nodded. 

“I can handle it, though. I’ll make sure that prick doesn’t mess with me again.”

Helena didn’t say that Dinah didn’t have to worry about it. She didn’t want to tell Dinah what she did. She just wanted to privately protect Dinah. Privately defend her. 

“I hope it never happens again,” Helena said instead.

“You and me both,” Dinah agreed. 

After a few more minutes, they finished their breakfast. Dinah politely took their plates to the sink. 

“Where’s the soap?” Dinah called over. “I’ll wash the dishes.”

Helena hopped up. “No!” she replied, then realized she didn’t mean to shout. “No, I mean. You’re a guest. You can’t wash the dishes.”

“I thought I wasn’t a guest anymore,” Dinah said.

“Oh yeah,” Helena replied. She still didn’t want Dinah to have to do anything. “But...there’s a dishwasher. It’s fine. I’ll take care of it.”

“I’ll at least help,” Dinah offered. 

Helena knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so she decided to hand wash the few dishes and let Dinah dry. Again, they fell into comfortable company in the kitchen, washing the dishes and drying together. 

This time, Helena broke the silence. 

“So, when do you want to move in? You want to go grab your stuff today?”

Dinah laughed. “Today?!” she asked. “Gah, killer...”

“What?”

Dinah looked at her. “You gotta stop being so...”

Helena frowned. “What?”

Dinah shook her head. “Nothing. Never mind.”

Helena still frowned. 

Dinah playfully nudged her. “It’s not a bad thing. You’re just...”

“What?” Helena asked for a third time. 

“You’re sweet.”

Helena was confused. “Sweet?”

“Yeah, you’re just...” Dinah shrugged. “It’s been a long time since I felt like someone cared about me.”

That was easy. “Well, it’s been a long time since I cared about someone.”

Dinah held her gaze. “See? Sweet.”

“Nobody‘s ever said I’m sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever been sweet.”

“Only to me?” Dinah asked. 

Helena nodded. “I think so.”

Dinah was just staring at her, but Helena couldn’t read her expression. She looked serious. But soft. 

Dinah glanced down at Helena’s lips. 

Helena didn’t move. 

Dinah’s gaze went back to Helena’s eyes and she opened her mouth to say something when Helena’s phone rang from the dining table. 

She pulled her hands out of the soapy water and dried them on the hand towel next to the sink. As she stepped away, she noticed Dinah deflate. Dinah was frowning. 

Helena wasn’t sure what to make of any of it. Why was her heart beating so fast? Why was she sweating suddenly? Why did her entire tongue feel like it was swelling a hundred sizes? Why was their a twisting sensation in her stomach? Why didn’t she trust her twitching fingers to pick up her phone?

Why did she always feel this way around Dinah?

She tapped the screen as the phone stayed on the table. It was just a text from Renee. She left Dinah for a fucking text from Renee. 

“It’s Renee,” she called to Dinah, picking up her phone to unlock it. “Meeting tonight. You’re on the text, too.”

“Alright,” Dinah said. “My phone died last night, so tell Renee that I got it.”

Helena texted Renee that she and Dinah both got the text but Dinah’s phone is dead. 

In seconds, Renee replied, “You guys together?”

Why would Renee ask that? Of course they weren’t together. They were friends. Best friends, maybe, if Dinah agreed. They were just friends. All they were going to be were friends. Roommates, even. Nothing but roommates. Teammates. With Renee herself. Was she with Dinah. No. She wasn’t. 

“What’d she say?” Dinah asked. 

“She...asked if we’re together. Why would she...”

“How else were you supposed to know my phone died? Not a hard assumption to make.”

Realization dawned on Helena. Together. Like, physically together at that exact moment. 

She felt stupid even in her own head. Inwardly rolling her eyes at herself, she replied that yes, they were together at the moment. 

“Great,” Renee replied, “See you both there.”

Helena didn’t reply. She still felt stupid and embarrassed.

Dinah was washing her own coffee mug when Helena returned. She dried it and hung it back on the rack with the others. 

“Well,” Dinah said, “I’d better get out of your hair.”

“You don’t have to,” Helena said before she could stop herself. 

Dinah smiled. “Really?”

Helena nodded. 

“Okay,” Dinah said. “I don’t have any clothes, though.”

“I can lend you something else, if you want. Or you can stay in pajamas. You look good in my pajamas.”

Why the fuck did she say that?

Dinah smiled, almost bashfully. “I could stay in pajamas all day.”

“That seems like what we should do today, then.”

Dinah nodded. “I agree.”

So, they did. They sat on the couch together and watched crappy television in their pajamas all day. When it was almost time to meet Renee, they went to Dinah’s apartment for her change of clothes, then went to the meeting together. 

Helena thought she could get used to that, just being with Dinah constantly. She felt no nerves about Dinah moving in. All she felt was excitement. 

And...something else. Something fluttery deep in her gut. Just when she looked at Dinah and talked to Dinah and made Dinah laugh and when Dinah smiled at her. 

She didn’t know what it was, but she didn’t mind it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!

Dinah moved in. She was a little bit apprehensive at first, because how was she supposed to live with someone she liked so much? What if they got tired of each other? What if they fought? What if Dinah did something that drove Helena nuts and vice versa? What if it didn’t work out? It was Helena’s apartment. Dinah would be homeless and friendless.

Also, Dinah was extremely nervous of living with someone she...liked so much. 

Of course she liked Helena. Like a teenager with her first crush—which it sure as hell was not—Dinah felt so nervous around Helena all the time. And Helena was so cool. So smooth. So suave. Helena was naturally beautiful and effortlessly funny. Helena was incredible company and Dinah could totally see herself falling in love soon. 

If she wasn’t 100% there yet. 

She probably was. 

Dinah moved in anyway. Gladly. 

For the first week, living with Helena was hard. It was hard not to react to Helena’s accidental affection. It was hard not to visibly swoon when Helena covered her with a blanket while watching television together. It was hard not to think impure thoughts when Helena wandered into the kitchen in a workout bra and small shorts she’d been wearing down in the building’s gym. It was hard not to look at Helena softly and lovingly when Helena did...literally anything else. 

Not that Helena noticed. Dinah could flirt the most obviously she’d ever flirted in her entire life and Helena would still be clueless. 

Dinah could do more than five subtle touches and longing glances, she could climb into Helena’s lap and stick her tongue down her throat and Helena would still ask if everything was alright. 

Not that Dinah would do that. Yet. Maybe. Not that she’d fantasized about it. Not that she wanted to...

God, she had it bad. 

She liked Helena so much. And the other woman was completely clueless. And why was that even more endearing? Why did that make her like Helena more?

Helena was so sweet. Helena was so wonderful and kind and god she was so hot. Dinah thought she would die during that first week. 

The second week got better. She was able to cool it. She was able to chill every time Helena entered a room. She was able to control her stupid laughter every time Helena did something funny. She was able to control the thoughts she had about the other woman. Kind of. 

“Dinah?”

Dinah looked up. Helena was looking at her confused. She was standing so close. Her eyes were so dark. Her lips looked so—

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

Dinah nodded, paying attention to her now. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Distracted.”

“By what?”

You, Dinah thought, but she didn’t say it. 

“Nothing really,” Dinah said instead. “What were you saying?”

“I asked if you want me to make some pasta for dinner. I know a good recipe.”

Helena making dinner. Dinah was in love. 

She nodded. “Sounds awesome.”

Helena smiled. “Cool. Want to go to the grocery store with me? You don’t have to.”

Dinah often wondered how Helena grocery shopped before she moved in with her car. Did she carry a bunch of bags with her motorcycle? Did she walk all the way to the store? 

“I’ll go,” Dinah said. “That way we can take my car.”

Helena nodded. “Cool.”

Dinah smiled. “Cool.”

Helena stepped away. Dinah missed the smell of her shampoo. 

God, she was fucking pathetic. 

She wished she could just tell Helena how she felt. Just a, “Yeah I totally have feelings for you but it’s cool because we’re good friends and I know you don’t feel the same so I’ll chill just wanted to let you know!” 

But she didn’t want to scare Helena off. What if Helena thought she was a weirdo for having feelings for her? What if Helena asked her to move out?

So, Dinah kept it to herself and tried to distract herself in other ways. She went on dates with other people, and it was almost enough. She also was rehired by the woman who purchased the Black Mask Club—now called the Red Ruby Club—so she had that going for her. Plus, she was fighting crime with Helena and Renee, and worrying about her own brutes to beat up was enough to distract her from Helena looking so goddamn good doing it near her. 

It was good, fine. Dinah was fine. 

She’d get over her crush eventually. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many feelings. Not angst but. A lot of feelings. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Dinah moving in was fantastic. Helena was so excited to live with her best friend. She was so excited to get closer to the other woman, to get to know her better, and to show her the care she deserved. She was glad to be extra nice to Helena and extra caring. She was glad to be the best friend she could be.

Helena liked being near Dinah so much. In every physical sense. She loved not only living right next door to her and sharing space with her, but she loved looming over Dinah, she loved cooking with their elbows touching, she loved Dinah’s feet buried under her thigh when they watched television at night. She loved every second of having a roommate. 

She loved having a close friend. A friend was something she thought she never needed, but she was wrong. She never knew she wanted that care and affection, that desire to actually be with someone else. She never thought she’d look at another person with any sort of love. She never thought another person would look at her with any sort of love. 

Their friendship was thriving. Helena was comfortable having Dinah near and felt better having her tucked away safely in their apartment. She liked that Dinah didn’t have to drive home after hanging out or a fight. She liked that she didn’t have to wonder what kind of trouble Dinah would encounter on her block. 

She liked being with Dinah so much. This friend shit was so easy. Helena wondered why she didn’t pick up some friends earlier.

Well, because who could ever compare to Dinah?

Helena was happy. For the first time in a long time. 

It was two weeks into their friendship when they were watching one of Dinah’s necessary films: Clueless. It was a teen rom-com about a bunch of rich kids from California, but it was pretty cute and funny. 

During the film, there was a subplot of the main girl growing a friendship and relationship with her ex-step-brother, which Helena thought was really fucking weird at first. But then she...noticed something. 

The two people flirted through the entire movie. They joked and teased. They flirted relentlessly the entire. fucking. movie.

Which smacked Helena in the face and made her realize. Jesus Christ, her and Dinah have been flirting this entire time. And god, she was bad. She was worse. She treated Dinah in a way she’d never treated another person and don’t even realize it was flirting. 

Good god, she was bad. 

Which meant...

The girl in the movie realized she had feelings for her ex-step-brother. 

Helena realized simultaneously that she. Helena Bertinelli. Huntress. The most socially awkward person on the planet. Didn’t realize she had feelings for Dinah.

“Oh my god,” she muttered out loud without meaning to, facepalming. 

“What?” Dinah asked. 

Helena couldn’t say it. She couldn’t just tell Dinah that she just realized she’s had feelings for her this entire time. Nope.

“Nothing,” Helena said. 

God, Helena felt like an idiot. That’s why she felt so different when Dinah was around. That’s why she sweated so much and her heart felt like it might’ve beat straight out of her chest. She felt like such an idiot. 

She looked over at Dinah. 

Dear god. Helena couldn’t look away from her. She was freakin gorgeous. Fuck. Helena realized all of her ‘my best friend is beautiful’ thoughts were not platonic. Fuck.

None of her thoughts about Dinah were platonic, and now, as the two characters kissed at the end of the movie, she realized she wanted to freakin’ make out with Dinah. She wanted to be with Dinah. She realized why she liked sleeping next to Dinah so much. Why she liked waking up next to Dinah. 

Helena just wanted to groan. She wanted the couch to swallow her whole. She yanked the throw pillow onto her lap and crunched her legs up to her chest as much as she could. 

Dinah was looking at her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Helena shook her head. “Nothing.”

“You feeling okay?”

Helena nodded. She glanced at Dinah; Dinah was frowning deeply. 

“You can tell me if something is bothering you,” Dinah said. She began removing her toes from under Helena’s thighs. “Am I—“ 

“You’re not doing anything,” Helena insisted.

Dinah paused the removal of her toes. “Alright...tell me if there’s something, okay? We gotta listen to each other.”

As friends and roommates, Helena wanted to add for her. Yes, that was it. As friends. 

Best friends. 

Helena felt worse. 

But she couldn’t figure out if she felt worse because she had secret feelings for her best friend or if it was because Dinah didn’t like her back. 

Because Dinah didn’t. She couldn’t possibly feel the same way Helena felt. Dinah was just her friend. Sure, Dinah was caring and kind, as a friend. Dinah kept Helena calm and relaxed; like a friend should. Dinah tucked her toes under Helena’s thigh because her toes were cold. As a friend. 

Plus, there were clear signs as to why Dinah didn’t like her back. Dinah went out on dates a lot. Well, not a lot. A few. But she was seeing other people. If Dinah liked her, wouldn’t she...not date anyone?

God, she just needed to get over it. And she could. She would. Now. 

She looked over at Dinah. Dinah was laying back against the opposite arm of the couch, her arms behind her head comfortably. She was smiling at whatever movie she put on after Clueless. She looked amazing. Helena thought about pulling Dinah over to lay on her lap, to stroke her fingers through Dinah’s hair, to—

Fuck. 

She was not going to get over it any time soon. 


	5. Chapter 5

It did not take long for Helena to decide that her life would be better if she just told Dinah that she had feelings for her. Like, that would work, right? Then everything would be fine? She’d stop being so anxious and sweaty when Dinah was around. Half of the problem was the secret, right? It was logical just to tell Dinah.

Helena would rather die than tell Dinah. 

Because she hadn’t had many crushes before, but she knew half of the embarrassment was rejection. What would she do when Dinah inevitably said, ‘That’s sweet, but we’re friends.’

But.

But. 

But. 

That’s all Helena heard. But they’re friends. But they’re teammates. But they’re roommates. But Dinah didn’t like her back. But Dinah was looking for Mr. or Ms. Right elsewhere. But Helena wasn’t what Dinah was looking for. 

But. 

But. 

But. 

Helena’s stomach ached pretty much constantly. She was under so much stupid unnecessary stress from her realization that she couldn’t eat, she couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned all night thinking about Dinah a room over. 

Dinah, snoring softly against her pillow. 

Dinah, her hair fanned around her like a halo. 

Dinah, beautiful in the morning light. 

Helena would do anything to wake up next to Dinah again. 

She would chop off her own arm and feed it to Bruce. 

She would give all her money away. 

She would never kill again. 

Instead, she went to church. 

Helena tried to go to church every Sunday. She didn’t always like getting out of bed, putting something nice on, and seeing the other attendees with her black eyes or split lips, but she was used to it. Growing up with the tradition became a habit that didn’t fade in Sicily. If anything, it became more of a tradition. Now, Helena couldn’t bring herself to stop going. 

Helena always sat in the very back, away from everybody else. She still wasn’t sure if anybody knew of her identity, both as Helena Bertinelli, the only surviving member of the Bertinelli clan, or as Huntress. She wasn’t sure which idea scared her more. 

But people were polite to her as a stranger. The people around her offered peace when instructed, and sometimes Helena felt it. She felt the ‘good vibes’, as Dinah called them. 

Helena tried not to think about Dinah during mass, but she couldn’t help but wander. Would Dinah ever attend mass with her? Helena wasn’t sure what Dinah believed in, but she was sure Dinah wasn’t Catholic. Did Dinah believe in anything? Maybe one day she’d ask. She asked herself enough. 

What would Dinah say about her prayer? Would she laugh? Would she understand? Would she disagree with it? 

Would she find Helena as big a contradiction as Helena saw herself? The Fifth Commandment constantly stared her in the face. Would Dinah ask how she could kill a man and then pray for forgiveness later? Would Dinah think she was ridiculous because the biggest fucking sin she committed was literally a crime that she couldn’t confess to the Father?

Helena didn’t even realize it was the end of mass until everyone around her was standing and reciting the parting prayer. Helena joined robotically, having the words engraved in her brain since she was a kid. What would Dinah think of that?

Helena gave herself the sign of the cross as the Crucifix and Priest passed. As people began filing out of the pews, Helena sat back down. She had some more thinking to do, and soon the church would be blessedly quiet. 

Helena asked God what to do. Or her mom. And maybe it was stupid, but she needed an answer, a clear sign. Tell Dinah she loved her? Keep it to herself forever? Die alone and loveless because Dinah will never love her back?

Helena didn’t realize she was praying. As if by habit because she was sitting in the church, praying was like meditating. She needed a clear mind to listen for a clear sign of what to do. She needed—

“Helena.”

Helena opened her eyes and looked up. It was Father Rueben, changed out of his cassock. Helena briefly wondered how long she’d been sitting there. 

Father Rueben was the only other person in Gotham who knew of her existence. Like Renee, the old family friend figured it out right away. Of course, Renee’s evidence was based on the hit-list, but Father Rueben’s was based on memory. Apparently, she looked just like her mother at her age, and Father Rueben remembered. 

“My child,” Father said, sitting at the pew in front of her. “What are you still doing here?”

“Oh, uh, just thinking. If that’s okay.”

“We have an open-door policy here,” Father joked. 

Helena kind of smiled. It was almost painful to do so. 

Father Rueben’s eyebrows furrowed. “What is wrong, young Bertinelli?”

Helena frowned again. “I’m just...having some person problems.”

“Anything I can help with? I’m a pretty good listener.”

Helena kind of smiled again. She tried to. “Uh...to be honest, and with all due respect, I don’t know if you would approve, Father.”

Father looked confused. “What is it...?”

Helena sighed. Father Rueben was better than nobody. 

“I, uh, I...I have feelings for someone. And it’s not going well.”

“Oh? Love?”

Helena nodded. “Yes, sir. I love...” she looked Father in the eye. “Her.”

Father Rueben did not falter. “Does she not reciprocate?”

Helena was surprised as his casualness. And relieved. She didn’t want Father to tell her homosexuality was a sin and ask her to leave. She needed something. 

“I don’t know,” Helena said. “I haven’t told her. And that’s my problem, I don’t know if I want to. She’s my best friend. I don’t want to mess anything up.”

“You don’t want rejection,” Father added. 

Helena nodded. “Yeah.”

“Would your parents like her?” Father asked. 

Helena was surprised by the question, but she knew the answer. “Yes,” she easily said. “They would. She’s so kind. She’s the best person I’ve ever met.”

“Do you want my opinion?” Father asked. 

Helena nodded. Why not? Love advice from an old man who pledged his life to God was better than nobody.

“Tell her how you feel,” he said. “If she does love you back, then all is well. If she does not, a good friend would help you get past it.”

Father was right, Helena knew. She needed to tell Dinah. 

“I hope that helps,” Father said. “I have to get to confession.”

Helena stood as he stood. “Thank you, Father. Thank you for listening.”

Father Rueben smiled, then took her shoulder, pulled her down, and kissed her forehead. 

“Your parents would be so proud of you.”

Helena was never sure of that, but she was glad to hear it. 

As Father Rueben left her, Helena exited the church. She said goodbye to her mother, did the sign of the cross, and walked out the doors. 

* * *

Helena smelled coffee when she entered the apartment. She was holding a box of super sugary donuts, so she was glad Dinah didn’t get up and begin making breakfast. The coffee was good. 

Dinah gave a gigantic smile as Helena entered the kitchen. 

“Hi,” Dinah greeted. 

Helena smiled. 

And dropped the box of donuts. 

“Fuck!” Helena cried, following the box onto the floor. 

Dinah laughed. “Damn, you okay?”

Helena picked up the box. Two donuts fell out, so when she threw them away. The others were saved, so she stood again and put the box on the island. 

“I’m good,” she lied. Her skin was on fire. Her tongue was swollen. Fuck. 

Dinah opened the box again. “Mmm, yum. How was church?”

Helena didn’t know Dinah knew she even went. 

“How did you know I was at church?”

“It’s Sunday. You’re Catholic. Not a stretch.”

“Oh,” Helena sighed. “Well, it was fine.”

“Good,” Dinah said. “Where’d you get these?”

“Dumpster down the street.”

Dinah paused, staring at Helena. 

“I’m just kidding,” Helena said. 

Dinah laughed. “Jesus, killer. Scared me.” 

Helena nervously laughed back. 

God, she was hot. Her skin prickled and physically hurt. She was in so much agony. 

“Which one do you want?” Dinah asked. 

Helena opened her mouth to say—

“Wait,” Dinah said quickly. “I know. Chocolate on chocolate.”

Helena nodded. “How did you know?”

“I know everything about you,” Dinah said. 

Helena doubted that, but she took the donut anyway. 

“Go ahead, ask me anything,” Dinah offered, taking a bite of her jelly filled donut. 

Helena didn’t want to. She wanted to bury herself under her blankets and never climb out. 

For some reason, she did it anyway. 

“What’s my favorite color?”

“Purple, easy, next question.”

“How old am I?”

Dinah practically glared at her. “Come on.”

Helena couldn’t think of anything, really. Nothing really deep. 

“What’s my favorite food?”

“Pasta,” Dinah answered. “Damn Italian.”

Helena smiled. Maybe Dinah did know her. “What is my least favorite food?”

“McDonald’s chicken nuggets.”

Helena laughed. That was partly true. She hated a lot of new foods. 

Helena switched her donut to her other hand because the chocolate was practically dripping onto her fingers. Fuck. She was so hot and nervous that her donut was literally melting. 

Dinah handed her a napkin, but when Helena couldn’t wipe her hands, Dinah wiped them for her. “You okay?”

Helena fucking dropped her donut. It landed with a tiny splat on the floor. 

“Fuck!” Helena cried.

“Hey, let me—“

Helena and Dinah bent at the same time, hitting their foreheads together painfully hard. 

“Ow, fuck, you okay?” Dinah asked. 

“Oh god, Dinah, I’m so sorry, I—“

“Hey, it’s okay.”

Helena thought she was going to throw up. Instead of saying or doing anything else, she fled the kitchen and ran to her bedroom. 

This was torture. Helena could probably handle having feelings for Dinah if she could only stop acting like a damn fool every time Dinah was near. God, her hands stopped working, she was sweating so bad she stunk, and her heart was beating painfully hard. 

Helena got in the shower, at least to relieve one of the problems. The water was cool and it made her skin feel better. She was so itchy. Nerves made her itchy. God, she was a mess. 

When Helena got out, she could hear music playing next door. Dinah was listening to music. Dinah probably thought she was the biggest freakin’ weirdo. Just dropping everything and showering in the middle of the day. 

Helena decided she needed to chill out and face Dinah rather than avoid her forever. So, once dressed, she exited her bedroom. 

Dinah’s door was open, so she peeked in. 

“Hey,” she said, standing at the door. 

Her stomach dropped. Dinah was standing in the doorway to her closet changing her shirt. She’d seen Dinah shirtless before, like after a fight when she needed something stitched or something. But it wasn’t like she’d ever get used to it. 

Helena covered her eyes. “Fuck, sorry.”

Dinah laughed. “It’s okay. Believe it or not, I’m pretty okay with people seeing me almost naked.”

Helena thought that made sense, since Dinah wore bralettes like they were shirts. 

Helena still covered her eyes. “I just wanted to...” She had no real reason why she went into Dinah’s room in the first place. 

“Wanted to...” 

Helena didn’t say anything. She just left the room. 

She went into the kitchen and found the chocolate cleaned up from the floor. Dinah was a saint. 

Now, Helena had a reason to enter her room. She went back to Dinah’s door and peered in. 

This time, Dinah wasn’t wearing pants. 

“Fuck!” Helena cried, covering her eyes again. 

Dinah laughed hard. “Jesus, killer, just look.”

Helena shook her head. “Close your door!”

Dinah was still laughing. Helena heard her zipper zip. 

“I just wanted to say—“

Helena felt Dinah grab her arm and pull her hand away from her face. 

“Thanks for cleaning up my mess,” Helena said. 

“No problem,” Dinah replied, her hand leaving Helena’s arm to rest on her own hip. “What else are roommates for?”

To ogle half naked in their bedroom, Helena thought. She didn’t say that. 

To think about nonstop. To fall in love with. She didn’t say that either. 

Dinah was smiling. “Hey, since you didn’t even eat your donut, and mine wasn’t enough for me, want to go to lunch? I’m dying for a cheeseburger.”

Helena nodded. “That sounds awesome. Let me grab my jacket.”

Helena turned to leave Dinah’s bedroom, but walked right into the wall next to the door. 

“Oh, shit!” Dinah cried, catching her before she could fall. 

Good lord, what was wrong with her?! She had literally training to be as smooth as possible. She was a trained assassin, for fuck’s sake!

Helena quickly stood. 

“The hell, girl? You okay? Seriously?” Dinah was genuinely concerned. 

“I’m fine,” Helena said, rubbing her nose. She wasn’t bleeding, thank god. That would be worse. But she was shaking. Dinah had a hand on her hip. “I’m...probably hungry, that’s all.”

Dinah still looked worried. “Let’s get you they burger, then.”

Helena nodded. Dinah still had a hand on her back as they exited the bedroom. She still looked concerned as Helena went to her room to get her jacket. 

Helena had a full length mirror on her closet door, so she stared at herself as she put her jacket on. 

“Pull it together,” she said to her reflection. 

With a nod back at herself, she left her bedroom to go to lunch with Dinah. 

* * *

  
Helena was cool for a few days. She was able to chill near Dinah a little more. She knew in the long run that just being friends was going to be better, for everyone. No weird break up, no awkward fights, none of that. Just a good ol’ friendship. 

It didn’t stop Helena from loving her so much. 

Anything Dinah did, Helena thought to herself, “I love her I love her I love her I love her.” She loved Dinah so much. 

Still, she was cool. Dinah was her friend. 

Helena went to the bar with Dinah one night. She wasn’t alone, Renee joined, and they were going to have a good night out, despite the fact that Dinah was working. 

Helena and Renee sat at the end of the bar where they weren’t really in the way. Dinah went to them any time she was caught up with thirsty customers and served them ample amounts of alcohol. 

Well, she served Helena more, because Dinah looked fucking fantastic and Helena needed to drink. 

She realized it may not have been a good thing. She wanted to badly to just say it. Yell it. Let everyone hear it, that she loved Dinah Lance. 

She had a speech in her head. “I love you but it’s okay that you don’t love me back because we’re friends. Just wanted to let you know. That’s why I’m such a freak when you’re around. That’s why I sweat so goddamn much. That’s why I drop everything. Anyway, we’re good.”

Helena drank and Dinah looked gorgeous. 

There was a man who kept going to the bar and flirting with Dinah. Dinah smiled a full dimple smile at him every time, looked at him through her lashes, and looked so good for his attention. 

Helena hated it. She hated him. But she didn’t say anything. 

“Who’s that?” Renee asked when Dinah approached them after leaving the guy. 

Dinah shrugged. “Some guy.”

“Some guy, huh? A little fun, maybe?” Renee asked. 

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Nah, probably not. Not what I’m looking for right now.”

Helena almost asked what she was looking for, but before she could, Renee did. 

Dinah shrugged again. “I don’t know. We’ll see.” She glanced at Helena. 

Dinah left them before Helena could say anything, and Renee laughed. 

“Gee, I wonder what she’s looking for,” Renee said. 

“What?”

“You fool, she—“

Dinah returned with two glasses of water. “Drink.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Renee joked. 

Helena took the offered glass and downed it in almost a full gulp. Dinah stayed and refilled it. 

The man went to the bar again. This time, he stopped next to Renee. 

“So,” he said to Dinah, “Can I get your number?” he blatantly asked. 

Dinah smiled. “I, uh, I don’t think so,” she said. She glanced at Helena. 

Renee looked at Helena, too. Why were they—

“Come on,” the man said. “I’ll even use it too, promise.”

Dinah shook her head. “Sorry.”

The man nodded. “It’s cool.” He looked at Renee, then passed Renee and right to Helena. 

Helena wanted to hide. 

“What about your friend?” he asked, getting off his stool and going to Helena.

Renee laughed. Helena wanted to flee. 

“Hi, I’m Bill,” he said, holding his hand out. 

Helena panicked. She had no idea what to do, what to say, so she blurted the first thing she could think of to make him leave:

“I’m gay!”

Renee spit out her drink. Bill pulled his hand back. Helena didn’t know what Dinah did and she couldn’t bring herself to look over. 

“Never mind then,” Bill said, almost laughing. He looked at Dinah with a smile like he knew some kind of secret. “But I get it now. See you later.”

He left the three women. Helena’s cheeks were so hot, she was so embarrassed. God, what the fuck?!

Renee was dying with laughter. Helena slowly turned her bar stool to sit completely at the bar again. 

“Well,” Dinah said, “That went...well.”

Renee was still laughing. “Poor dude’s gonna be scared of lesbians now.”

Helena frowned deeply. She wanted to drown in her glass of water. She stared at the glass, wondering if it was possible. 

“Hey,” Dinah said, placing a hand on her arm. 

Helena looked up. Dinah was looking at her softly. Delicately. Helena just stared at her, wanting to say anything. Literally anything. 

Dinah gave a little nod, kind of a, ‘You’re alright,’ subtle motion, then she pulled her hand away. 

Helena just sipped her water, trying to feel less stupid by the second. 

Eventually, it worked after the water turned back to whiskey. Then, she felt far less embarrassed and just a little more foggy. 

She didn’t know how she got home, but when she woke the next morning, she was alone in her own bed. Thankfully, she didn’t just feel like shit because of her personal life. 

Helena thought maybe she would tell Dinah. Just to get it off her chest. But how? Just blurt it? Casually mention it? Grand pronouncement? 

She would figure it out. 

Eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Helena.
> 
> The next event would be Chapter 11 of my one-shot stories, where Helena asks Renee for advice, and Chapter 24 when Renee calls out Dinah for having feelings for Helena. I’m trying to decide if I want to add them to this next chapter...
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is exactly chapters 11 & 24 from my one-shot stories because they both fit here. The next chapter is brand new.

Helena was in trouble.

She wanted to do something grand to tell Dinah how she felt. She wanted to tell Dinah how much she cared, how much she liked her, how she was pretty much the only person in the world that Helena liked, that she thought Dinah was beautiful, that she thought Dinah was interesting and wonderful and she was so. screwed. 

Helena was not one for words. She wasn’t one for much of anything, but finding a way to articulate how she felt was something she was very much not good at. 

She was not very confident, either. She thought Dinah liked her, maybe, but there was a large part of her that didn’t think Dinah liked her. There was a big part of her that thought Dinah thought of her just as a friend. A roommate. A teammate. 

Still, she hoped. She knew how to hope. 

Helena ran through ideas in her head while she and Renee shared a pot of coffee. Dinah was still asleep because of a late shift at the club. 

“Listen,” Helena said suddenly, making Renee jump and spill her coffee. 

“Son of a bitch, Bertinelli!”

“What? I have a question.”

“We’ve been sitting here silently for over an hour. When you’re gonna begin, you gotta start easy.”

Helena didn’t know that...she was just starting conversation. 

“So, should I not ask?”

Renee sighed. “We’re already in it. What’s up?”

“How did you begin dating Ellen?”

Renee grinned. “Well, one day we met. I asked her for a drink. And the rest is history.”

Helena could tell that Renee’s grin was because she felt gusto about being the one to ask Ellen out. 

It was not helpful. 

“What do you do if you actually like each other?”

“Hey! We do like each other.”

“Mmm. Okay,” Helena said, almost sarcastically. She meant for it to be unbelieving. 

Renee eyed her. “And who’s got your heart, Crossbow Killer?”

Helena held her eye. “Nobody.”

“Really? You’re just asking for...nothing.”

“Not...nothing.”

Renee’s eyes slit like she was trying to see through Helena. “Tell me.”

“Nobody.”

Renee lifted her mug. “Maybe I’ll just ask Canary if she knows something.”

“No!”

Renee laughed. “Alright, chill. Just what I thought, though.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Please, that you two are crazy about each other? It’s almost painful.”

Helena wanted to comment that it was painful watching her follow Ellen around for weeks at a time, sulk, then to watch them crawl back to each other. It was awful. 

Still, Renee had the most experience she was comfortable with asking about. 

“So,” Helena continued. “What can I do that’s romantic enough to show her I care?”

Renee shrugged. “Ask her for a drink.”

“We go for drinks all the time.”

“So, then you should feel comfortable.”

Helena shook her head. “What happened to romance? Flowers? Chocolate? Music?”

Renee snorted. “And they say I’m from a bad 80’s movie.”

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Renee laughed. “Listen, if you want to do something romantic, something out of the ordinary for our times, be direct. Tell her how you feel. Nobody ever does that anymore.”

With that, Renee got up from the island, put her mug in the sink, and left the kitchen. 

Helena still wasn’t sure what to do, unfortunately. And she didn’t have much more time to dwell, because Dinah woke up and exited her bedroom. Helena handed her a mug of hot coffee and forced an agonized smile when Dinah smiled beautifully. 

She was fucked.

* * *

“Can you just admit it?” 

Dinah vaguely heard the question. She was busy.

“What?” she asked, distractedly taking a drink from her glass. 

The street in front of her was not busy enough to miss the arrival of the familiar motorcycle, when it would finally show up. Helena was late, and Helena was never late. Helena always arrived at their meeting spot—Dinah’s club—way earlier than anyone else. 

“Admit...you know,” Renee said, playfully nudging Dinah. 

Dinah furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t know, actually.”

Renee chuckled. “Admit that you like Bertinelli and you’re freaking out right now because she’s late!”

Dinah paused. She didn’t—No—There wasn’t—She didn’t—Helena—

“I don’t—I—no—“

“I don’t, I, no,” Renee mocked, “Okay, whatever. Keep it to yourself. Just relax. Someone might get the wrong idea with your panic right now.”

“We’re a team, okay? If you were a good teammate, you’d be worried, too.”

“I know Bertielli is a grown ass woman and is responsible enough to get where we need to be. Alright?”

“Whatever,” Dinah muttered. She wasn’t going to argue, and she wasn’t going to say all the concerns running through her head. She was just being a decent friend, teammate, and roommate. 

What if Helena was in trouble somewhere, needing help? What if Helena got lost? What if Helena split? What if...

The familiar motorcycle finally rolled up in front of where the two women were sitting on the outdoor patio of Dinah’s club. It halted to an abrupt stop and jerked as Helena killed the motor. 

Dinah was relieved, but she didn’t say that. 

Helena sat up on the bike and removed her gloves. 

“See? She’s fine,” Renee said. 

Dinah didn’t say they couldn’t be sure. She couldn’t say there must’ve been a reason why Helena took off early in the morning, didn’t respond to any messages, and finally showed up late. She didn’t say Helena could be mentally-not-fine or that Helena could need help elsewhere or—

Dinah was still staring as Helena, in sudden slow-motion, lifted her helmet off her head, then flipped her sweaty hair out of her face like a bad romance movie. 

Oh, Dinah was fucked. She looked so good. So fucking hot. Dinah’s mouth went dry.

Renee laughed. “Yeah, okay, Canary.”

Helena dismounted the bike and went towards them. 

“Where’ve you been?” Renee asked because Dinah couldn’t muster enough spit in her mouth to make words. “Canary’s been worried sick.”

Helena was looking at Dinah. “I took a ride up north. Hope that’s okay.”

“I...do whatever you want. I don’t care,” Dinah said defensively. 

Helena might have frowned. Dinah noticed her face changed. “Oh. Okay.”

“Ready?” Dinah asked, standing from her seat. 

Helena nodded. Dinah didn’t pay any attention to Renee, knowing she was probably making some face indicating Dinah was being stupid. She was being stupid, but she didn’t need anyone else acknowledging it at the moment. 

Dinah’s car was right in front of Helena’s bike, so Dinah walked over to the driver’s side. “Do you want to ride with us or by yourself?” Dinah asked Helena over her shoulder. 

“I’ll take my bike,” Helena said, sounding dark and sad. 

Dinah felt bad. She didn’t have to be an ass. She didn’t need to say she didn’t care where Helena was. She did care, as a good friend, teammate, and roommate. 

When Dinah and Renee were the car, Renee finally broke into a laugh. 

“Well, that was a disaster,” she told Dinah. 

“Shut up,” Dinah said, pulling out of her space and taking off.   
  


She knew it was a disaster. But now she had to focus on their mission and worry about it all later. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Renee’s POV. As pretty much the only person who knows they love each other.

Renee was so goddamn tired of them. She truly hated Helena and Dinah at that point. How could two of the strongest women she knew be so goddamn stupid? Their feelings for each other were getting in the way of everything, and what was frustrating was that they didn’t do anything about it.

She wished she could tell the women many things. Many pieces of advice. 

One: when you have it, don’t let it go. She wished they could see for themselves that they had it in each other. They had love. They had security. They had what people spent their whole lives searching for and sometimes never found. She sure as hell hadn’t found it. 

Two: talk to each other. Talking was how to bond. They were already such good friends, but damn they were bad at communicating. So much would be different if they just talked to each other. 

Three: just fucking bone already. Just do it. Just fuck, for God’s sake. 

Instead, Renee silently hated them. 

Knowing that they had feelings for each other and keeping that secret was so torturous. She wanted so badly to just tell Dinah, “You know Helena likes you.” And tell Helena, “You know Dinah likes you.” But she wasn’t a teenager. She didn’t spill the beans like that. It wasn’t her place. Instead, she had to stand back and watch them fucking flirt. 

Renee sat in the kitchen of Helena and Dinah’s apartment, sipping coffee across from Helena. They were quiet. She was hoping Helena wasn’t going to ask her advice again. But...she could stir the pot. 

“When is Dinah’s birthday?” she asked. 

“April tenth,” Helena instantly said. Then, she looked up slowly, probably realizing how quickly she answered. “Why?” she casually asked. 

“I was just hoping...we...didn’t miss it. It’s still a few months away. Enough time to think of a really good gift.”

Helena looked confused. “What kind of gift requires months to plan?”

An engagement ring, Renee thought. Instead, she shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I was just saying.”

Helena frowned like she was really thinking. 

“But don’t worry. Just friends don’t have to go all out for gifts.”

Helena frowned deeper. “Wait, should I get her a big gift?”

“I don’t know,” Renee said, sipping her coffee. “Should you?” 

Helena looked so lost. Renee almost felt bad. 

“What if I—“

Dinah’s bedroom door opened. 

Helena shut up fast. 

Dinah smiled as she entered the kitchen. Renee totally saw what Helena saw in her. Dinah was gorgeous, and she was straight up just wonderful. Renee knew the senior Dinah Drake, Dinah’s mother, and the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. 

Renee liked Dinah just fine, and maybe she would’ve liked Dinah if she was younger, but Dinah only had eyes for the tall Italian in front of them. 

“Hey,” Dinah said sweetly. 

“Hi,” Helena said back, smiling nervously. 

Kiss her!, Renee wanted to yell. To either of them. One of them needed a kiss. One of them just needed to do it. 

“How did you sleep?” Dinah asked. 

“Fine,” Helena said. “How about you?”

Dinah shrugged. “Fine.”

Renee spoke next. “I slept fine, too.”

“Fuck off, Renee,” Dinah said, not taking her eyes off Helena. 

“Want some coffee?” Helena asked. 

Dinah nodded. Helena turned to get her a cup. 

Dinah finally looked at Renee. 

“You got it bad,” Renee mouthed to her. 

“Fuck off,” Dinah mouthed back. 

Renee pointed at Dinah, then Helena, then made a heart with her fingers. 

“Sssshhh,” Dinah warned. 

Helena turned around. “What?”

Dinah glared at Renee. “Nothing.”

Helena turned back to retrieve Dinah’s coffee. She handed it to Dinah.

Dinah smiled sweetly. God, they were gross. Too sweet. Too cute. 

They just needed each other. They deserved each other. More than she was tired of seeing their flirting, Renee just really wanted to see them happy. She wanted them to be happy together. 

They were quietly talking to each other, completely ignoring Renee. They were making plans to go to the farmer’s market, what to make for dinner, planning to get some really good gelato from a place across town. It was so domestic. Renee loved it. 

Renee finished her coffee and stood. “I’ll get outta here so you guys can get to that farmer’s market.”

Helena looked at her. “Are you sure?”

Renee wanted to tell her she’d be fine alone with Dinah. To be herself, that Dinah loved her anyway. 

“You guys have fun,” Renee said. 

Helena looked so scared. Dinah looked thrilled to be alone with Helena. 

Renee picked up her keys and glasses. “See ya.”

“Bye!” Dinah said cheerfully. 

Renee laughed as she left. Poor Helena. 

She really hoped they worked it out soon. 

She was sure they would. 


	8. Chapter 8

Helena loved the farmer’s market. Growing up in Sicily, she was an outdoorsy person and always picked her own fresh food that grew around the property. The farmer’s market reminded her of fresh pasta sauce and deliciously juicy salads. They were good memories.

Helena picked up a tomato and smelled it. It was so firm and smelled sweet. It was ready. Helena almost bit into it right then. 

With a small smile, she dropped it into a bag. When she looked back up, she noticed Dinah looking at her out the corner of her eye. 

Helena was uneasy and nervous again. “What?” she asked anxiously. 

Dinah lifted an eyebrow. “You need a moment with that tomato?”

Helena’s cheeks heated up. Dinah was teasing her. 

“Want someone to look at me like you look at that tomato,” Dinah joked, cracking a smile. 

Helena tried to laugh, but couldn’t physically make herself calm down. “I, uh...sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Dinah said. “I’m teasing. I know nothing about fresh food. When do you even know tomatoes are good to eat?”

“Uh...” Helena picked up another tomato. Dinah seemed genuinely interested. “See this one is super red, but that one isn’t quite as red?”

Dinah nodded. 

“That’s pretty much it. Feel this one, it’s tender. Ready to be cut. Smell it.”

She held it up to Dinah’s face. Dinah leaned in and closed her eyes. 

“Gorgeous,” Dinah said. 

“Yeah,” Helena replied, looking at Dinah’s face. 

Dinah’s eyes opened and caught Helena’s. “What else can you teach me, killer?”

Helena quickly put three more tomatoes in a bag and scooted down the stand. 

Helena showed Dinah everything she knew about vegetables, and Dinah seemed very interested. She never stopped listening or asking questions, and she just stared at Helena like she was the most knowledgeable person on earth. All Helena knew was when to tell they were ripe, but Dinah ate up every word. 

Helena loved that Dinah was listening to her. Dinah always listened, but Helena hardly had anything useful to say. Helena usually listened to Dinah. Dinah was way more knowledgeable. Dinah went to a normal school after fifth grade. 

“What can you make with all of these vegetables?” Dinah asked because Helena’s bag was getting heavy. 

Helena shrugged. “What do you want?”

Dinah smiled. “Surprise me. Tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” Helena agreed, already planning the pasta she can make from scratch. 

“It’s a date,” Dinah said. 

Helena’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, what—“

Dinah patted her arm, then looked around Helena. “Hey, I know that girl! I’ll be right back, okay?”

Helena turned as Dinah ran around her, jumping into the arms of a girl feet away from them. A weird pain ran through Helena, ending in her belly and making her uncomfortable. She frowned, then stepped up to the farmer woman to pay. 

“Wow,” the woman said, “I love a good customer. Making something special?”

“A pasta,” Helena answered as the woman counted mushrooms.

“Oh, a little date night?” the woman asked, smiling sweetly. “Your girlfriend is lovely.”

Helena’s eyes were so wide they almost fell out of her head. “She’s not my girlfriend!” she awkwardly yelled at the poor woman. 

The woman’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really? You two look positively smitten with each other.”

Helena shook her head. “No, no we’re just friends.” God, she was panicking. Was she being too close to Dinah? Was she being weird? Was she making Dinah uncomfortable?

“Well,” the woman said, “You look happy together.”

Helena just looked at her. 

“Reminds me of my husband and I when we were young. We liked each other for a long time before getting together. And then one day, we realized how much we loved each other. And the rest is history. Twenty even, love.”

Helena gave her a bill. “How did you guys realize you loved each other?”

The woman shrugged. “I don’t know. One day we just looked at each other and said, ‘It’s been you all along.’”

Helena took her bag of vegetables. 

“You’ll figure it out,” the woman said. “A love like yours doesn’t stay hidden forever.”

Helena nodded. “Th-thanks. Thank you.”

“Enjoy your pasta.”

Helena forced a smile, then left the woman to find Dinah. 

Dinah was still talking to her friend as Helena approached. Dinah smiled at her widely as shegot to them.

“Hey, c’mere,” Dinah said, opening an arm up to Helena. “Dan, this is Helena. Helena this is Dani. We grew up together.”

“Hey,” Helena greeted, but she wasn’t that interested. First of all, she still felt an ache at the pit of her stomach. Second, Dani had a dog. Her eyes were glued to the little thing. 

“Hi!” Dani greeted. “Dinah was just telling me about you. Makin’ pasta, huh?” she looked at Dinah. “Lucky girl.”

Dinah rolled her eyes. 

Helena absentmindedly nodded. “Can I pet your dog?”

“Uh, yeah, sure!” Dani said. 

Helena quickly kneeled and held her hand out to the dog. She let the dog sniff the top of her hand to get approval, and once the dog licked her, she patted its head and scratched its ears. 

Helena hardly listened to the two women talking, making plans. ‘A date?’ Helena wanted to ask, but didn’t. Dinah could see whoever she wanted. 

“Hey, and my brother’s single again,” Dani said. “You know you always had the hots for him.”

“Girl, shut up, in like tenth grade!” Dinah said, playfully pushing her friend. 

Helena focused on the dog. 

“Take his number anyway. No strings. He’d love to hear from you.”

Dinah let Dani put the number in her phone while noncommittally disagreeing with it. Helena couldn’t tell if Dinah was genuinely interested or if she was just being polite. She wanted to tell Dani to back off. 

But Dinah wasn’t spoken for or anything. Helena didn’t have a say in who Dinah went on a date with.

“I’m asking him if you use it,” Dani warned, handing Dinah her phone back. 

Dinah nodded. “Fine, fine.”

Helena sensed it was time to go, so she scratched the dog one last time and stood. 

“It was nice to meet you, Helena,” Dani said, then looked at Dinah again. “Don’t be a stranger. Call my brother!”

Dinah looked embarrassed. “Okay, maybe! You call me too, though.”

“I will!” Dani kissed Dinah’s cheek. 

Ugh, Helena truly already hated this woman. 

But then Dinah grabbed her arm. She hooked a hand around Helena’s bicep comfortably, like a...like a couple would. And suddenly Helena didn’t feel so angry. 

As Dani led her dog away, Dinah waved goodbye. Once they were lost in the crowd, Dinah’s hand fell from Helena’s arm. Helena missed the contact. 

“Nice dog,” Helena commented. 

Dinah rolled her eyes. “She was just being nice. She knows I’m single, too.”

Helena couldn’t argue with that. Dinah was single. 

Helena was going to say something, say didn’t know why she hated the thought of Dinah going out with Dani’s brother, hated every time Dinah went on a date with anyone, hated every moment that someone else looked at Dinah—

But Dinah darted away quickly. “Samples!” she cried. 

Helena followed. Gladly. 

Dinah went right to a tent with a woman selling honey and yogurt. 

“Here’s a cup of yogurt,” the woman said to Dinah, handing her a cup. “And here’s the honey. Try them separately or together!”

Helena picked up a yogurt only. She didn’t really like honey. 

“Want some honey?” Dinah asked sweetly, holding both little cups in one hand and using a little wooden spoon to taste. 

Helena sputtered. The way Dinah said it, she thought Dinah was calling her honey...

Helena paused and realized Dinah meant to taste the honey. She felt like an idiot. 

“I, uh, I don’t really like honey.”

“This one is really good,” Dinah said, holding her little spoon up. “You don’t want to try it?”

Dinah kind of pushed it to Helena’s mouth. 

Helena instinctively opened her lips. Dinah pushed the little spoon against her tongue. 

Helena felt heat and tasted sweetness. It was so good. 

The honey was good, too. 

They maintained eye contact as Helena closed her lips around the spoon. Dinah slowly pulled it out, staring at her mouth, her own bottom lip slightly parted, as if watching Helena in awe. 

A strand of honey dripped onto Helena’s lip from the spoon. She caught it with her tongue. Dinah’s eyes went down to her lips. 

Helena felt silly. What was she doing? What was happening? 

“What do you think?” Dinah asked, her gaze traveling back to Helena’s eyes. 

Helena nodded. “It’s good.”

“You like it?”

Helena nodded. 

Dinah finally tore her eyes away. “Let’s get some. Eat it on toast.”

Helena agreed. Dinah reached for her pocket, but Helena stopped her. She paid for the honey, then they left the vendor. 

As they walked away, Dinah lightly touched her arm again. “What’s next?”

Helena didn’t know. Home? Forever? For the rest of their lives?

Dinah pointed at another vendor. “What do you know about fruit?”

Helena shrugged. She couldn’t remember anything at the moment. 

Dinah pulled her. “Teach me about pineapples, baby.”

She smiled brightly. Helena could die every time Dinah called her ‘baby’, and she did it a lot. 

As a friend. 

She called her friends ‘honey’ and ‘baby’. She called Harley ‘honey’ and Helena wasn’t even sure she liked Harley very much. 

Still, Helena melted. 

Helena spent the rest of the afternoon telling Dinah about fruits. They shared a juicy peach that Dinah moaned around. Helena briefly wondered if food had always been dirty or if it was just her own thoughts. 

Most importantly, Helena had fun. She made Dinah smile and laugh a lot, which was always a good day. Friend or more, Helena knew she was glad Dinah was by her side. 

On the way home, Helena’s happiness came crashing down. They walked in silence, close together, sharing an apple this time. Helena was starving, and she was excited to make some good stir fry when they got home. She was even more excited about the pasta tomorrow. She needed to run to the grocery store for flour and some more olive oil, because she was making the pasta, not just the sauce, because Dinah deserved the best, and—

“I have to tell you something,” Dinah said suddenly. 

Helena took the apple back from her. “Hmm?”

“I do have a date this week.”

Helena almost paused on the street. It took all she had not to let her heartbreak show. She just stared ahead. 

She was stupid to hope. She was stupid to even listen to anyone else and wonder if Dinah liked her back. 

Stupid. 

“Oh,” Helena said. 

Dinah was frowning. She paused on the sidewalk. “I—“

Helena didn’t want her to apologize. Apologize for what? Dinah wasn’t doing anything wrong. Helena had a stupid crush. That was it. 

“I was thinking stir fry for dinner,” Helena offered, continuing to walk. 

Dinah nodded. Helena walked slow to let her catch up, but she thought they put enough distance between them. Enough considering their day. 

Helena just needed to get over it. She would get over it. 

Dinah was her friend. That was all that mattered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was supposed to be 5 chapters long and then I kept getting ideas. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is exactly chapter 13 from my one-shots, except it’s Dinah’s POV. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dinah was so fucking sick of going on dates. She was tired of meeting Gotham’s least desired bachelor and bachelorettes. She was tired of nothing happening with them, just an endless dead-end every few days. Dating used to be fun. It so was not fun anymore.

Especially when the person she really wanted was right there. The person she wanted was actually single. The person she wanted was close to her. 

The person she wanted was so goddamn clueless. 

Dinah toned back her touches and flirting, though. Ever since the night they watched Clueless, when Helena suddenly began to act a little bit distant, Dinah stopped innocent touches and lingering gazes. She stopped touching Helena’s back as she reached around her in the kitchen. She stopped tucking her toes under Helena’s thigh when they sat in the couch. 

That was until the other day at the farmer’s market, when Dinah couldn’t help but let herself touch Helena comfortably. Like a couple would. 

But then it all fell apart again when Dinah confessed she had a date. 

They weren’t together, so why did Dinah feel like she was cheating on Helena? Especially when she was only dating to get over said clueless assassin. 

Helena was killing her. There was no reason someone so hot should be so ridiculous. Dinah almost thought Helena knew what she was doing by walking around with crop tops and sports bras on. But it was a million times worse that she was unaware of what she did to Dinah. 

So Dinah dated and she hated it. Nobody was worth the trouble. But she did want to keep trying, if not for anything else but to try to get over Helena. 

Tonight, Dinah had a date with a stock broker from Metropolis. He was cute and charming, but Dinah knew when she said yes that he was a big shot, macho man. 

It was months since Dinah moved in, months since the man at the bar assaulted her and she had nowhere to go besides Helena’s apartment. Dinah was apprehensive about a date with a man who could very well turn out to be a dick, but she was alert enough to give it a shot. 

Dinah walked out of her bedroom ready for her date. Helena was in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.

“Is that your dinner?” Dinah asked.

Helena nodded. “Yeah. What’s the point of making anything if you’re not here?”

Dinah understood. “What kind of cereal is it?”

“Cocoa Puffs.”

A few months ago, Helena only ate bran cereal. Boring shit. Now she had a fully stocked cupboard of sugary cereal, and never any less than three boxes of Cocoa Puffs ready to be eaten. 

Dinah thought it was so cute. 

“Hey, how do I look?” Dinah asked. “This lipstick good?”

She chose a dark red lipstick to go with a gold top and jeans. Her date told her they weren’t going anywhere fancy, to just be laid back and what made her comfortable. That meant jeans. 

Helena’s eyes gazed not-so-subtlety down her body. It made Dinah smile. 

Helena cleared her throat and focused on her cereal again. “Good.”

Dinah smirked. 

Helena didn’t look up again. 

“What are you going to do tonight?” Dinah asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“Nothing,” Helena said. “Maybe go down to the gym.”

Dinah took a sip while thinking about that. Helena at the gym was a sight. Hot and sweaty and determined and focused, her muscles straining intensely, her body just fucking working itself. 

Dinah took a larger drink of water. 

“What’s this one’s name?” Helena asked. 

“You don’t have to say ‘this one’.”

“Okay,” Helena replied, “What’s his name?”

Helena said ‘his’ like it was a curse. Dinah pretended to ignore it. “Colin.”

Helena rolled her eyes. 

“What?”

“Sounds like a douche.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s a stock broker—“

“Douche.”

Dinah sighed. “What?” she asked, with a little bit of courage. “Jealous?”

Helena didn’t look at her. “He just doesn’t seem like a man right for you.”

“What, because he’s a man?”

Helena shrugged. 

Dinah shook her head. “Alright, well, you can meet him and decide.”

Just then, the buzzer from the door down below rang. Dinah went to the machine to answer.

“Hello?” she asked sweetly. 

“Hey, Dinah?”

“Yeah, you found it! Come on up.” She clicked the lock on the door. 

“Sounds like a douche,” Helena said. 

“He said my name.”

Helena shrugged. She put her bowl in the sink and rinsed it. 

Colin arrived at their door a second after that. Helena stood up straight and crossed her arms, and Dinah was sure she was trying to look intimidating. 

“Chill,” Dinah said. 

“I am chill.”

Dinah rolled her eyes and opened the door. Colin was looking sharp in a nice polo and jeans, and Dinah as glad he really was dressed laid back because she would’ve found something nicer to wear. 

“Hey,” Dinah greeted.

Colin swept in and kissed her cheek. Dinah casually glanced at Helena who looked ready to kill him. 

“This is my friend Helena,” Dinah introduced them. “Helena, this is—“

Helena left the room. She walked out of the kitchen, straight to her bedroom. 

Dinah knew Colin was going to comment on that, but she didn’t give him a chance. She didn’t think she’d make it out the door if he insulted Helena in some way. 

Colin took Dinah to a cute cafe. It was laid back and Dinah was glad. They had sandwiches, and it was alright. Colin wasn’t very interesting, which was weird. She expected Colin to be knowledgeable or have a lot to talk about, but his answers were short and boring. Dinah wasn’t that enthralled with him. 

When they finished dinner, Colin politely paid. Dinah offered, because she was a modern woman, but he insisted. Dinah thought it was pretty sweet, but it wasn’t something that made her like someone. Even when Helena paid, Dinah wasn’t impressed. She was thankful, sure, but unimpressed. 

Colin was so boring. Dinah didn’t like him anymore. She couldn’t imagine seeing him again. 

So, she knew even then she wasn’t going to see Colin again, but she didn’t want to be completely rude and skip out on their date. 

Dinah was disappointed, though. Another date, another dead end. 

They walked down the street trying to figure out what to do next. Colin suggested a movie, but Dinah disagreed. She didn’t want to spend that much time with him. 

Dinah wanted to get home. She felt bad about cutting the date short, but she knew she’d be having a better time at home with Helena. Whatever it was that was happening with Helena. 

And what the fuck was up with Helena, Dinah thought. Being jealous of her date, trying to be some kind of authority in Dinah’s life. Who cared what Helena thought of Colin. It’s not like Helena was her girlfriend or something. It wasn’t like she was actually cheating on Helena. 

God knew she wasn’t. 

Dinah just had mixed feelings towards Helena’s jealousy. What did it mean? Helena didn’t even like her. As a friend, did Helena want Dinah all to herself? That wasn’t fair or anything Dinah would’ve agreed to when moving in. 

Helena just acted all kinds of strange. She didn’t get near Dinah but didn’t want Dinah near anyone else. She saw the glares Helena gave Harley when she playfully flirted with Dinah. She saw the daggers Helena probably imagined throwing at anyone who came near Dinah when they were out. Helena clearly hated any person who picked Dinah up for a date. What the fuck?

As they walked, Colin lifted his arm to wrap around Dinah’s shoulders. Dinah didn’t mind, not really. She knew she wasn’t going to see Colin again, so it didn’t matter. 

Dinah thought about Helena some more, about how weird she’d been. But also that she missed Helena. She wondered what Helena was doing. She wondered what Helena did all night without her. 

Suddenly, Colin leaned over and kissed Dinah. Right there in the street. 

Dinah was caught off guard at first, but then she pulled away. “Wow, what the hell?”

“Let’s go back to my place,” Colin said, trying to kiss her again. 

Dinah pushed him away. “What part of this makes you think it’s on its way back to your apartment?”

“I...we’re on a date,” Colin said. 

“Yeah, and?”

Colin looked surprised. “And I paid.”

“So?!” Dinah asked. 

“So...” Colin leaned in again, wrapping a hand this time around the back of Dinah’s head to pull her in. 

Dinah fought to pull away. “I don’t think so, man.”

“But you owe me—“

“Excuse me, I owe you?!”

“I mean,” Colin said, “I bought you dinner.”

Dinah was shocked. That hadn’t happened to her in a long time. She even wondered for a minute if men like that even existed anymore. 

Apparently, they did. 

Dinah pulled her purse up. She dug in the wallet and grabbed $20

“Here,” Dinah said. “We’re even. Never call me again.” Dinah threw the money at Colin when he didn’t take it. 

Dinah stormed away. She didn’t have her car, but the walk wasn’t far. It was long enough for her to think. 

Why did she attract the fucking creeps? Was there something wrong with her? Why was she so desirable to the scums of the earth but not the actual, genuinely good people? 

Why did she attract assholes like Colin and not Helena fuckin’ Bertinelli? 

What was it about her that Helena didn’t like? Well, they were friends. That was true. 

On the one hand, maybe Helena really did just see her as a friend. 

On the other hand, what if Helena didn’t think Dinah was enough? Good enough? What she wanted?

Dinah just wished she could ask. Maybe that would help her get over it. 

Dinah noticed she was crying. What the hell?! Why was she so upset about it? She felt like she was being stupid. 

In no time, Dinah was home. She tried not to look or seem so upset. But she was bummed. But she also didn’t want Helena to try to kill someone for her. She couldn’t handle any more confusing feelings again. 

A little over an hour after she left, Dinah was back. Helena’s head popped up over the couch as Dinah opened the front door. 

“What’s wrong?” Helena asked, practically jumping off the couch. 

“Huh?” Dinah asked. She realized she was still kind of crying. “Oh, nothing. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“What does that mean?” Helena questioned. “What happened?”

“He just...” Dinah leaned on the island. “Wasn’t right. He was weird, okay?”

“Weird how? Did he hurt you?” 

Dinah could tell Helena was mad. 

But Dinah was mad, too. The nerve Helena had. To be mad on Dinah’s behalf. To act like, what? Like she had some say in Dinah’s life? Insulting her date before she met him? Making a judgement like her opinion counted. 

“Helena, just drop it!” Dinah nearly shouted without meaning to. Asking Helena to let it go, yes. Yelling? No.

Dinah poured herself a glass of water. Helena slowly turned and made to leave the room. 

Dinah felt worse. She didn’t want to fight with Helena. And she didn’t mean to yell. She knew Helena had her best interest at heart. She knew Helena just wanted to help and protect those she...loved. Her friends. 

Dinah wanted to be loved in more ways than just that. 

“I’m just...” Dinah said, causing Helena to stop. The other woman didn’t turn around. 

Dinah continued, “I’m just tired of this. I’m tired of going on date after date and having nothing to show for it. Do you know how many dates I’ve been on in the past two months?”

Dinah prayed Helena didn’t answer that. She didn’t need to feel more fucking pathetic. 

Dinah sighed. “Sometimes,” she told Helena, “I just want someone to say, ‘I’m here for you. I care about you. I want you.’” 

Saying it out loud sounded so sad. She sounded so desperate. But she had to say it. To someone. She wanted love. She wanted Helena’s love. 

“I want someone to love me,” Dinah concluded.

Dinah watched as if in slow motion as Helena stepped up to her. What was she doing? What was happening? What was Helena—

Helena looked Dinah in the eye and grabbed her shoulders. Dinah was trapped, those big brown eyes piercing her and bolting her to the floor. 

“I’m here for you,” Helena said. 

Oh my god, Dinah thought. 

“I care about you. I want you. I want to love you.”

Helena said it so confidently that Dinah thought Helena had rehearsed Dinah’s own words. 

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Dinah thought. Holy shit. 

Helena.

Helena Bertielli. 

Loved her back. 

Dinah just stared. Maybe she didn’t mean it. Maybe it was in a friendly way, like everything else. Maybe Helena was just stating that she was there for Dinah as a friend. 

Still. Maybe she wasn’t.

“Are you serious?” Dinah asked. 

“Completely,” Helena instantly replied.

Dinah didn’t deserve her. “I’m damaged goods.”

“I’m not?”

Dinah felt a tear fall down her cheek as she chuckled. Helena was right, of course. They were both fucked up enough to support and love the other anyway. 

Helena dropped her hands from Dinah’s shoulders. “I didn’t mean for you to cry.”

Dinah almost grabbed her again, but she didn’t. Instead, she just stepped up to Helena to stop her. 

“No, it’s a good cry,” Dinah insisted. “It’s a...relieved cry.”

Helena was visibly confused. “What do you mean?”

“I never thought...I don’t know. I hoped. I wanted you to feel for me what I feel for you.”

Helena met her gaze again. “Really?”

“Yes,” Dinah said. She took hold of Helena’s shoulders. She wanted to slide her hands into Helena’s hair and pull her in for the world’s most longed for kiss, but she didn’t. Instead, she said, “I want to love you back.”

“Are you serious?”

Dinah chuckled. Dear god, they were both so bad at this. And Dinah thought she was the more experienced one. 

“We could go back and forth all night. I’m serious. Are you?”

Helena eagerly nodded. “So serious.”

Dinah smiled widely. She felt fireworks and they hadn’t even kissed yet. Just knowing Helena had feelings for her was enough. 

Dinah made her move. She did slide her hands up to Helena’s hair, the hair she’s been daydreaming about stroking for a long time, and slowly leaned in to kiss Helena. 

She was going to kiss Helena. 

Finally. 

Thank god. 

She—

Helena was stone stiff. Dinah stopped before their lips touched. She couldn’t kiss Helena with Helena looking like a CPR dummy. Maybe she didn’t know Dinah wanted to kiss her. Helena was super fucking clueless half the time. 

“I’m going to kiss you,” Dinah said, which was the opposite of romantic and just like them. 

Helena breathed out. Her breath smelled like an orange popsicle. “I’m assuming people usually don’t need to announce it.”

Dinah chuckled. “I’m just making sure it’s okay first. You seem...nervous.” Dinah was pretty nervous, too, but she hoped Helena didn’t notice. 

Helena slightly frowned. “I’m just expecting you to change your mind any second now.”

Dinah shook her head. “I’m not going to change my mind. Are you?”

“Of course not.”

Seal it up, Lance!, Dinah thought. 

“Then...are we going to kiss?” she asked. 

Helena nodded. 

Dinah leaned in again. It wasn’t a far distance before her lips were touching Helena’s. 

She thought she felt fireworks before. 

The real kiss was fucking phenomenal. 

Helena kissed like a pro. Like it was her job. Like it was her literal job to satisfy Dinah’s mouth. 

Her entire body sang. She experimented by running her tongue over Helena’s top lip, and Helena eagerly opened her mouth and let Dinah in. 

Fuck, it was so good. It was sensual and loving but hot at the same time. Dinah’s whole body was hot. She fucking loved it. 

Helena’s hands on her hips fit. Helena’s hands pulling her in felt right. Helena’s arms wrapping around Dinah’s waist felt like she was being enclosed in the most loving blanket ever. (She knew, even in her head, how dumb that sounded, but damn Helena’s arms around her felt so right). 

Since Dinah had been daydreaming about it for months, she dug her fingers into the short hairs on the back of Helena’s head. She held on, stroked her hair, and basically just played with it. She’d wanted to touch Helena’s hair intimately for so long that the soft strands almost felt fake. It felt like her daydream. 

Dinah thought they needed to take a breather. Helena’s tongue was making her feel sensitive everywhere, so she knew she’d better calm down before pushing Helena onto the couch and making some more fantasies come true. 

Dinah shifted her hand from Helena’s hair to her cheek, cradling it softly before pulling away. 

Helena’s face moved with Dinah’s, trying to capture her lips again. 

Fuck, Helena might kill Dinah. 

But Dinah laughed. “Easy, killer. Slow.”

Helena nodded. Like she hadn’t thought of going slow. 

Dinah felt so wanted. For the first time in her life, she felt like she was finally with someone who genuinely and truly wanted and loved her. 

“You really want me, huh?” she asked, trying not to tease. 

Helena quickly nodded. “You have no idea.”

Dinah smiled. “I’ve never felt wanted before.”

“That’s an injustice in itself,” Helena said. 

Dinah could’ve cried. Fuck, the woman was perfect. She knew just what to say and Dinah knew she wasn’t just saying shit to get in Dinah’s pants. She meant it. 

“You’re gonna treat me right, aren’t you, Helena?”

Helena eagerly nodded. “Absolutely. You deserve the best.”

Dinah melted. She swept hair off Helena’s forehead to see her eyes fully again. 

“You do too babe,” Dinah said, easily calling her ‘babe’ because she had already. “I want to show you how much you deserve.”

Helena caught her lips again; before Dinah could even think about it she had Helena’s tongue in her mouth. God, Helena’s tongue. Slick and hot and Dinah couldn’t wait to—

Nope. No. Not thinking about it. Not tonight. Not on their first night together. 

So she kissed Helena. She focused on Helena’s arms around her, holding her tight, pulling her in, playing with her hair too, stroking her back. She focused on Helena’s soft lips and soft sighs and soft hands and soft everything. How was the toughest, most bad ass chick she knew so fucking soft?

Dinah’s kisses were getting away from her. When she felt about two seconds away from jumping into Helena’s arms and wrapping her legs around Helena’s hips, she pulled away again. 

Helena looked disappointed. “Are you going to keep stopping?”

Dinah laughed. It was nice to know Helena was as effected as she was. 

“Yeah,” she said, “I mean it, let’s take it slow. Let’s go to bed and figure more out tomorrow. Let me take you out tomorrow night,” she offered, in the dumbest way she’d ever asked anyone out. 

“Like a date?” Helena asked, and Dinah couldn’t blame her. 

“Exactly like a date.”

“Alright,” Helena said. “Lucky number thirteen.”

Wait, what?! Had Helena been keeping track of her dates?! 

“You’ve been counting my dates?”

“I’ve been slowly dying every time you’ve gone out. So yes.”

Dinah felt bad. She had no idea Helena felt the same way. The time they could’ve saved. 

But it also explained Helena’s shitty attitude toward every person she’s met who’s come between them. Not that anyone had come between them. A dozen dead-end dates weren’t going to tear them apart. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Dinah asked. 

“Why didn’t you?” Helena smoothly retorted. 

Dinah shrugged. “I was scared,” she honestly said. “Scared that you didn’t feel the same.”

“Of course I feel the same.”

Dinah laughed. “Well, I didn’t know that!”

“Yeah, because you didn’t say anything!” Helena cried. 

Dinah rolled her eyes. They were still in an embrace, and she could still feel Helena playing with the hair falling over Dinah’s back again. 

She wanted to get closer to Helena. Even if it meant sleep. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Dinah offered. 

When she pulled back, unwrapping herself from Helena, Helena looked disappointed. Almost worried. So, to not give Helena any sortof anxiety, she took Helena’s hand and pulled her toward her bedroom door. 

Helena was visibly surprised. “I’m going to sleep with you?”

“If you want to,” Dinah replied, praying Helena agreed. “I want you to.”

Helena didn’t say anything, she just followed Dinah through the door. 

Dinah instructed Helena to get comfortable as she changed into pajamas. She took a few minutes in the bathroom, calming her nerves and trying to make herself desirable. She was going to brush her teeth anyway, but she also put on fresh deodorant and lip gloss. 

She was fucking pathetic. 

Dinah thought she’d enter the room looking cool and sexy, but that flew out the window when she entered her room to see Helena under her covers. All the cool and sexy in her body died and instead she felt flustered. Seeing Helena in her bed was new. And so hot. 

Dinah tried to remain calm. She climbed into bed, leaning over to kiss Helena again. 

“Goodnight,” she said. 

Helena opened an arm. Dinah easily slid next to her and laid on her shoulder. 

“Goodnight,” Helena replied. 

She felt Helena kiss the top of her head. 

Dinah was so gone. 

The woman was full of never-ending accidental romance. And just knowing that’s how Helena was, that she wasn’t trying too hard or being sweet with ulterior motives, made Dinah just died even more. Helena was perfect. And she was so fucking in love. 


	10. Chapter 10

Helena woke up hotter than usual and for slow stretched seconds she didn’t know why.

But then she peeled her eyes open and remembered why. 

She was in Dinah’s bed. Dinah didn’t have the ceiling fan running. Dinah had four hundred blankets on her bed. 

And Dinah was pressed against her. 

Helena didn’t mind the sweat where they were attached. She didn’t mind the nervous sweat she was suddenly breaking out in, either. Because Dinah was right there. Helena could feel Dinah’s breath on her chest, she could smell Dinah’s shampoo where her hairs were tickling Helena’s nose. One of Dinah’s arms was over her waist, her hand tucked securely under Helena to hold her in place. One of Dinah’s legs was thrown over her thigh. 

Ugh, fuck, it was all so wonderful. 

Dinah was heavy in a way that made Helena feel secure, like her weighted blanket. She didn’t even miss it in the night. Dinah must’ve been wrapped around her the entire time. They fell asleep almost in this same position. She didn’t even need her blanket. 

Helena wished she could see Dinah’s face. She wished she could admire her in the morning light again. She wanted to memorize the slopes and planes of Dinah’s beautiful face. She wanted to map the angles and curves and use the math to commit to memory every part of Dinah’s face. 

Not that she was ever going to spend any time not staring at Dinah now. Now that—she hoped—she was allowed to. She would ask later if she was allowed to. 

As much as Helena loved waking up next to Dinah, and would love to hold her as she slept, she was not a person who laid around in bed. She needed to get up, if not just to move but to also get air. She was too hot. 

Helena could get out from under Dinah. Somehow...

Helena tried to move, but somehow Dinah was heavier in her sleep. 

Helena tried to slide out from under Dinah, but she was trapped. 

How the hell was Dinah so strong in her sleep?

Helena thought for a minute. She could just get up, disturbing Dinah. But then Dinah might be upset at getting woken up. 

Finally, Helena found a solution. She rolled Dinah over, embracing her in a hug and quickly scooting her arm out from under Dinah in one move. Helena was free, and Dinah was still fast asleep. 

Helena got out of bed, then stood next to the bed to stare at Dinah. She was so gorgeous. She was perfect. 

Dinah sighed and adjusted, and Helena thought Dinah was going to wake up so she quickly fled the room as to not get caught staring at her sleeping. 

She rushed out of Dinah’s bedroom and ran to her own bedroom. She used her own bathroom, getting nice and cute for Dinah. 

She was so pathetic. Since when did she care about looking cute? 

Okay, always, for some reason. One didn’t adjust their makeup in the middle of a fight without caring about their look, at least a little bit. 

Helena left her bathroom and bedroom many minutes later. She checked Dinah’s door and saw she wasn’t up. Helena really wanted to be there when Dinah got up, but she didn’t want to just wait around, not knowing what time Dinah would get up. Sometimes she slept late. 

Plus, Helena had a lot to think about. A lot of nerves to get out. So she decided an hour at the gym would be good. She returned to her bedroom, got dressed in a workout crop top and sweat pants, then went down to the building’s gym. 

Helena worked hard for over an hour. She let sweat wash everything out of her pores, like the doubts and insecurities she naturally felt toward being with Dinah. 

What if Dinah changed her mind? What if she wasn’t enough for Dinah? What if Dinah met someone else? What if Dinah realized Helena was terrible? What if Helena eventually fucks it up? What if...

What if—

What if—

What if.

For every ‘what if’, Helena worked harder. She did a ton of weight training and floor exercises, like planks and leg raises. She ended her workout by running two miles on a treadmill, not as many as she’d usually do, but she began to get hungry. 

Helena felt better as she walked up the stairs to their apartment. She always took the stairs to get a little bit more exercise in. Dinah called her an overachiever. Dinah liked the elevator. 

Helena downed the last of her water and toweled sweat off her face as she entered the apartment. 

Instantly, she knew Dinah was up. Helena could smell eggs, bacon, and coffee. She was excited. Her stomach wasn’t just hungry anymore; she had butterflies. Excited butterflies. Nervous butterflies. An entire fucking lepidopterarium in her belly. 

Helena entered the kitchen, dropping her water bottle and towel on the island. 

“Hey,” Dinah greeted first.

Helena greeted back. “Hey.”

“I was hoping to actually wake up next to you. One of these days, can you stay in bed with me?”

Helena nodded. Anything Dinah wanted. 

“I made eggs and bacon,” Dinah said, “Just like you showed me. As a...I don’t know, it’s like that first morning we spent together. That first night I spent the night. After...you know.”

Helena nodded. “Yeah. After our first night together,” she said, diverting Dinah’s memories of that night before. 

“Yeah,” Dinah agreed, smiling. 

“Smells awesome,” Helena said. 

“I hope so,” Dinah told her. “I’m still not very good at making anything. Not like you.”

Helena shrugged. “I’ve just practiced.”

“I’ll keep practicing,” Dinah said. 

Dinah was smiling. She left the eggs and bacon on the stove and stepped over to Helena. 

Helena knew Dinah was going to kiss her, and Helena would love to kiss her too, but she was disgusting. She smelled so bad and was so sweaty. 

Helena stepped back as Dinah stepped forward. 

Dinah looked kind of confused. 

“I am disgusting,” Helena said. “I was down in the gym.”

Dinah’s eyes trailed down Helena’s body, lingering on the little bit of her abs that were exposed. 

“I can tell,” Dinah said with an appreciation. 

“Okay,” Helena said with courage. “We’re allowed to look at each other?”

Dinah looked at her face again. “Uh...yes?”

“No, like...look at each other...” Helena realized she sounded so stupid. “Never mind.”

Dinah chuckled. “No, what do you mean?”

Helena shrugged. “Like...I know you were looking at my abs. And that’s cool. I don’t mind. Do you mind?”

“Do I mind if you look at my abs?”

“Yeah, like...any part of you.”

Dinah laughed. “Oh, I get what you’re saying. You’re asking for permission to, like, look at my ass or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Helena joked. She may have sounded stupid, but Dinah got her. She got it. 

And then Dinah fucking killed her. She took hold of the bottom hem of her t-shirt, then lifted it up over her head, leaving her in their kitchen in a thin Calvin Klein bra she’d slept in. Helena didn’t have to imagine much. 

“Look all you want, baby,” Dinah said. 

Helena struggled not to. She usually did, but with permission...

Her eyes trailed down Dinah’s body, admiring her flawless skin and perfect body. And where she lingered, who could blame her?

Dinah was laughing. Her hands were on her hips, practically inviting Helena to look everywhere. 

Helena’s eyes made their way back to Dinah’s face. 

“You good?” Dinah asked. 

“Not yet, maybe turn around?”

Dinah laughed again. Helena smiled widely. She loved making Dinah laugh. 

“Why don’t you go shower?” Dinah said. “Be quick while I finish breakfast.”

Helena nodded. 

Dinah stepped close to her. “That way I can kiss you here,” Dinah touched Helena’s neck, close to where her pulse was. “And here.” She touched Helena’s throat. 

Helena swallowed. “‘Kay.”

Dinah smirked. “Better make it a cold one.”

Helena nodded, even though she didn’t really get it. But she was so hot suddenly that a cold shower sounded pretty good. To calm her down. 

Helena left Dinah in the kitchen and took the fastest shower of her life. She put on a clean shirt and pants and returned to the kitchen quickly, her hair still wet and dripping at the ends. 

Dinah was back in her shirt too, and when she saw Helena enter the kitchen, she stood up off the counter and went to her. 

“That’s better,” she said sweetly before leaning in to kiss the two spots she’d touched earlier. 

Helena’s breath caught in her throat. Dinah’s lips felt amazing, even if they were tiny touches. She wanted to feel Dinah’s lips elsewhere, but for now the little kisses were perfect. 

Her relationship with Dinah was going so well so far. 

Dinah caught Helena’s lips with her own after the two teasing touches. Their kiss began slowly, but quickly turned into Helena pushing Dinah into the island and practically trapping her there. Like their kiss the night before, Dinah’s hands found Helena’s wet hair and she held Helena close, closer than before. 

Helena explored Dinah’s mouth this time, taking control of the kiss and asserting herself. She’d never asserted herself as such before. Nobody even knew her name for the longest time because she couldn’t get the word out. 

Then Dinah fucking moaned into Helena’s mouth and Helena pushed her even harder with her hips and entire body. 

“Mmm,” Dinah sighed before working her lips away. “Fuck, baby, stop...” she said against Helena’s mouth. 

Helena instantly pulled away. She dropped her hands from Dinah and took a step back. 

“No,” Dinah reassured her. “That was good. Amazing. But let’s slow down, remember? I don’t want to just jump into bed with you.”

“Why not?” Helena asked, then shook her head at herself. “No, god, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dinah was looking at her softly. “Let’s eat and we’ll talk, okay?”

Helena nodded. She took an offered plate of food and cup of coffee and went to the dining area. 

They were silent for the most part during the meal. Helena commented that Dinah’s eggs and bacon were very good, Dinah argued that Helena’s were better, and Helena said she had more practice. It was easy, and Helena felt so happy. Happier than before, when Dinah was just her friend. Now Dinah was more. Hopefully. She was something more. Helena would ask. Oh yeah, Helena was going to tell Dinah she loved her—

“So, have you ever kissed anyone before?”

Helena looked over at Dinah. She was casually leaning back in her chair, looking curious and attentive. Her body was completely facing Helena, so Helena knew she was ready for an open and honest conversation. 

“Just once,” Helena answered. “Before you.”

“Mmm. Before or after you returned to Gotham?”

“Before,” Helena said, then joked, “So you don’t have to go find her.”

Dinah laughed. “Please, you are the jealous one.”

Helena rolled her eyes. “Yeah, maybe. I didn’t like sharing you. I was afraid one day you’d move on from me.”

“Even if I ended up with someone else, we’d still be friends. And that’s what we are first, okay? Friends. You’ll always be my friend.”

Helena nodded in agreement. “You’re my best friend. You’re the only real friend I’ve ever had.”

Dinah smiled. “You too, actually.”

Helena felt proud at that. 

Dinah went back to her questions. “Did you have sex with the one person you kissed?”

Helena didn’t feel any nerves at the question or the change of topic. She and Dinah were being open. Dinah could ask whatever she wanted. 

“Yeah,” Helena said. “Kind of. I touched her. But she didn’t touch me.”

Dinah kind of frowned. “It was okay, right? She didn’t, like, force you into anything?”

“Oh,” Helena realized how it sounded. “No, yeah, it was alright. I just didn’t want her to. I asked her to stop at the time and she did. A week later I came back to Gotham.”

“Did you like her?”

Helena shrugged. “I mean, yeah. I guess. Not like I like you, though.”

Helena hadn’t felt comfortable letting the other woman touch her, and she didn’t even feel any real attraction to her. She didn’t want the woman to touch her. But with Dinah? She was ready to throw herself on the table right now and let Dinah do whatever she wanted. 

Maybe it was because she loved Dinah. Not the other girl. 

Helena was going to say it. “I think it’s because I—“

Dinah’s phone rang. 

For fuck’s sake!, Helena thought. 

Dinah reached across the table for it. It was Annie, so she excused herself from the table to answer it. 

Helena heard her half of the conversation, of course. Dinah was agreeing to work that evening, after much arguing, but it seemed like Annie was begging and insisting. So much for their date. 

But Helena felt alright about it. Many dates were to come. 

Dinah hung up and returned to the table. 

“I’m so sorry,” Dinah said. “Annie’s desperate. I would’ve just declined so we can go out, but—“

Helena took her hands. “It’s alright. We have time, right?”

Dinah nodded. “Of course. Now, where were we?”

“I was about to tell you...” But Helena paused. Was now the right time? Should it be more romantic? Should she wait to tell Dinah she loved her because they’d just been together for literally ten hours? Should she wait until she knew Dinah loved her too?

“Tell me what?” Dinah asked. 

“Nothing,” Helena decided. Later. Then, deciding to go with the theme of talking about having sex before, she decided she had some questions for Dinah. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

Helena rolled her eyes. “More questions.”

Dinah laughed. “Go ahead.”

“You’ve had sex before.”

“Was that a question?”

Helena chuckled. “Have you had sex before?”

Dinah was smiling so beautifully. Helena didn’t mind Dinah teasing her because Dinah laughed. Helena laughed, too, which was surprising. She wasn’t a very tease-able person. 

“Yeah,” Dinah answered. “I’ve had sex before.”

“With men and women both?”

Dinah nodded. “Yes, with men, women, and other.”

Helena was confused. “Other...?”

Dinah laughed. “You know, not everyone identifies under male and female, right?”

Helena did not know that. Interesting...

But not the point of the topic. Out of curiosity, she’d ask more about that later. 

“When was the first time you had sex?” Helena asked. 

“High school,” Dinah said. “I was seventeen. It was some guy on the football team, uninteresting.”

“So, you have a lot of experience, then?”

“Well, gah killer, not a lot. I don’t sleep around.”

Helena realized that sounded insulting. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean it like that.”

Dinah squeezed her fingers. “It’s okay. After all this time, I get you.”

Helena smiled at the thought. Dinah got her. 

Helena was happy. So fucking happy. 

She would tell Dinah...

“So, since I have to go to work tonight,” Dinah said, pulling Helena out of her thoughts. “I won’t work tomorrow. We can go out. What do you want to do?”

Helena thought. She had no clue. “I’ve never been on a date.”

Dinah was looking at her like she was the most fragile creature on earth, all soft eyes and a soft smile. Helena almost hated it, but it was still endearing. She trusted Dinah. It made her realize she was glad Dinah wasn’t just jumping into this without being sure Helena was ready. 

“What do you think you want to do?”

Helena shrugged. “I really don’t know. What’s a good date you’ve been on?”

“I used to like going to the movies,” Dinah said. “Nice and simple. Make out a little in the dark seats.”

Helena smiled. “Alright. That sounds good.”

Dinah smiled wider. She leaned over the table to kiss Helena softly. 

Soft, soft, soft. 

Everything about Dinah was so soft. So comfortable. 

Wait, Helena was going to tell her—

Dinah got up suddenly. She gathered their plates and began toward the kitchen. 

Helena followed. 

“You wash, I dry?” 

Helena nodded and grabbed the soap from under the sink. 

While they were silent for the first few minutes, Helena thought maybe she shouldn’t tell Dinah she loved her. Maybe the interruptions were a gift. Maybe they weren’t at that level yet. Maybe...

Maybe she ought to just spit it out. 

She opened her mouth to speak—

“When we’re done, let’s check movie times,” Dinah said. “And I know a really good pizza place near the theater I like. Pizza and a movie? Sound good?”

Helena nodded. “Sounds wonderful. And I—“

“I wonder what movies are even out right now. I think there’s a super hero movie out, but super hero movies are boring when you live the real thing, huh?”

“Huh? Yeah, uh—“

“What if they made a movie about us one day?” Dinah laughed. “Wouldn’t that be something.”

Helena was getting more and more frustrated. She knew she about to fucking burst...

“Wouldn’t that be funny to, like, watch yourself on screen? I wonder who would play us in a movie, I wonder—“

“Dinah!” Helena cried. “I love you.”

Dinah paused and looked up at her. “What?”

Helena frowned. “Goddamn it.”

She’d misjudged. Of course it was stupid to tell Dinah she loved her. They’d been together for hours! Fuck! 

Dinah laughed. “What?” 

“I shouldn’t have said anything. I just...I do, I’m in love with you, and I just wanted you to know, and I know it was stupid, but—“

Dinah leaned over and kissed her, shutting Helena up completely. 

Okay, crisis averted. But Dinah was not going to say it back, and then there would be this weird tension that Helena caused, and she only had Dinah for a few hours, and she should have waited, and—

Dinah pulled away. She pressed her forehead into Helena’s to look her in the eye. 

“I love you, too,” Dinah said. 

Helena was shocked. “Wait, really?”

“Yes, duh. You couldn’t tell I’ve been a complete fool for you this entire time?”

Helena felt so surprised. She thought Dinah’s feelings for her were sudden. She thought she’d been holding all these feelings for Dinah unrequited the whole time. 

“But...” Helena muttered. “But you, like, date.”

“Yeah, to get over you. I never thought you’d want me back.”

Helena shook her head. “We’ve been feeling the same, then.”

Dinah nodded. “Very much so.”

Helena figured she could dwell on that, or she could just be happy they arrived at the same place. 

She needed to kiss Dinah again. 

Helena took her hands out of soapy water. She reached over and put her hands on Dinah’s cheeks. 

Dinah laughed and tried to pull away. “You’re all wet!”

Helena laughed too and pulled her in. “I want a kiss!”

“You’re wet!”

Helena finally caught Dinah’s laughing lips. They were both laughing so hard. Dinah’s laughs tasted delightful. 

Helena was pretty lost in the kiss, soap and water dripping down her arms onto Dinah and the floor. She didn’t notice Dinah’s hand leaving her side, but suddenly she was being lightly slapped in the face with a handful of soap. 

Helena fell away from Dinah. “Oh, really?” she asked, trying to be intimidating with a face full of soap. 

Dinah laughed. She reached for the sink again, so Helena did, too. Soon they were throwing soap and small handfuls of water at each other, laughing maniacally and happily. Helena had never had so much fun in her entire life. 

Water was falling everywhere, so it wasn’t long before Dinah slipped on a small puddle. Helena caught her and saved her from falling on the ground hard, but they both toppled over, landing a little bit softer on the ground. 

Helena landed on top of Dinah. She buried her face in Dinah’s neck, laughing still as Dinah wrapped herself around Helena. 

Dinah sighed as their laughter subsided. She rubbed Helena’s back. “I could get used to this.”

“What? Water fights in the kitchen?”

“No,” Dinah said, “Happiness.”

Helena lifted her head to look Dinah in the eye. “I was happy with you just as my friend. But knowing you love me back...”

“I know,” Dinah said. “I know exactly how you feel.”

Helena kissed the smile on her face. 

Dinah moved her hands up and down Helena’s back. Helena loved the feeling of Dinah’s hands on her. 

When they broke apart for breath, Dinah was still smiling. Helena was proud because she hadn’t seen Dinah smile that much since she moved in. 

“You’ve only kissed one person before?” Dinah asked. 

Surprised, Helena said yes. “Why?”

“You’re a good kisser.”

“I’m just following you.”

Dinah grinned. “Fast learner?”

“I guess.”

“Oh, this’ll be fun.” 

Helena didn’t wonder for long what Dinah meant, because she realized Dinah was probably talking about sex. In which case, yes, Helena was eager to learn what Dinah wanted, how Dinah felt, what made Dinah feel the best.She was excited to make Dinah feel good. To be the only one who made Dinah feel good—in that way. 

Dinah kissed Helena’s nose. Helena quickly realized she loved nose kisses. 

She loved Dinah. 

And now Dinah knew. 

And Dinah loved her back. 

Helena felt like she was floating. She felt more relief than when she finished the hit-list. She felt more relief than anything she’d ever felt before. 

“We gonna lay here all day?” Dinah asked. 

Helena nodded. 

Dinah rolled her eyes and pushed Helena up. Helena went, helping Dinah to stand, too. 

Helena didn’t want to part from her, but she stood in front of the sink to finish the dishes. She thought that was more normal than just attaching herself to Dinah from now on. 

“You can come to the bar with me tonight,” Dinah offered. “If you want.”

Helena excitedly nodded. She really wanted to go, just to see Dinah more and spend more time with her. 

Dinah smiled. “Cool. But that’s not our first date.”

“Good,” Helena said, planning to make their first date worth Dinah’s while, even though she had no idea what a date was like. 

Dinah leaned over and kissed her shoulder. “I’m really happy.”

“Yeah,” Helena agreed. “Me too.”

Dinah kept smiling. And Helena found herself unable to stop, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes my little story! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying. For continuations please visit my one-shots! They’re all in my made up universe of a made up universe. But thank you for the support!


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